this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
161 points (95.0% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

“Sure, the outside is a little weird, but does it really need to be in this community?”

Picture 5: “Oh, found the bad one”

Picture 31: “Holy shit!”

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Picture 18: "Good Lord, wtf"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

See, Picture 18 was what made me think that that had a thing going, and I could respect it even though I didn’t get it. 31 made me nope right out again.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, that went from, 'just slap some paint on it' to M.C. Escher real quick.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Imagine watching yourself take a shit from that many angles. Glorious.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Too many choices have been made here

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

when u a coked up playboi with adhd and no financial skills

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Assessor states 4 bedrooms, per seller this is a 6 bedroom home

For some reason this made me lol

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

The owner obviously has a lot of opinions… most are wrong.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s like they took 32 individual interior design students, put them in a blender, then sprayed them in separate rooms.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

That red wallpaper..maybe they did...

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Really wish I could have seen it furnished…and partied there with the crazies.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Well mom, remember my dream of owning a big house on a hill and how I used to wish for a living room with a plaster lion in it from Mexico and how I always wanted a large twenty four seat dining table in a dining room with original oil paintings by Michelangelo and Rembrandt and remember how I always wanted a rotating bed with pink chiffon and zebra stripes and remember how I used to chit chat with dad about always wanting a bathtub shaped like a clam and an office with orange and white stripes and remember how much I wanted an all red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel and how I wanted a disco room with my own disco dancers and a party room with fancy friends and remember how much I wanted a big backyard with Grecian statues, s-shaped hedges and three swimming pools? Well, I got that too.

From “The Jerk”

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Nothing like watching yourself poop... and hearing it echo...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I have ... thoughts.
Firstly, the match between the bedspreads and the wallpaper is its own kind of impressive, I admire the effort.
The pictures are really nice given the amount of mirrors, the photoshop is very well done !
Not sure if I hate the slippery stone floor from the entry room of the rough ones more.
Why does the fireplace of the mirror room seems to be sitting in a shower drain bit thingy... ?
PINK SHARP TOILET AND COPPER MIRRORS. They could have used that in the shinning. I love it.
Why does most of it manages to look somewhat expensive, and then you've got ugly shelves and that ceiling (you know which one) ?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Picture #6. If you remember the original DOOM video game, it's those rooms where John Romero was going for that weird Lovecraftian vibe where you're horrifyingly inside the flesh and organs of a vast living entity, but the textures don't quite line up correctly.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You've just improved my opinion of this house significantly.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I'd lose the flesh-colored marble, the animal heads, and anywhere with wallpaper on the ceiling needs that ripped down. Otherwise dope house.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I'd probably begin with a crowbar, but if some of the stuff on the walls is too firmly attached, I'd move up to a kango hammer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Begin by going into the hallway with a hangover?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, at least in the order the photos are presented, that's pretty clearly where I went from "Huh...." to "Huh!?!?"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Was that a ceiling poodle?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This looks terrible, but I bet it wouldn't take much work to undo most of it. I could work with this place

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I saw water damage in one of the photos. It's a huge property with odd design choices and dated at that - experience tells me that form over function has been the owners' focus, and maintenance - very low on the list. Especially if it's been vacant for some time. I'd put money on the bones not being as good as they might seem. Would be an absolute money-pit to renovate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like this more than I should. I wonder what's under the trap door, does it ever show that?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The bodies of everyone that's ever arranged for a personal viewing of the house

[–] freamon 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Whatever you do, don't begin in the mirrored ceiling room. You may never escape.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That’s some SCP level shit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Especially on strong acid, or any psychedelic for that matter.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

There is some insultingly tasteless shit there

That means this is some actual prime real estate because rich people just love that stuff 🤮

The display closet on pic4 though, absolute beauty, prob more expansive on its own then my entire house.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Looks like an ancient McMansion

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It looks like a Wall st guy let his cokehead wife decorate in the early 80s.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Those swirly red walls… ugh.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That's the marbling that you refer to when you describe steak.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I think that's where the end scenes of Society were shot.