chapotraphouse

It's fucking depressing and all and there are more red flags here than at the Victory Day parade in 1945, but you know what gets me the most about this kind of job ad? It's for an "AI live photo sharing app."

We live in a world that expects people to mobilize all their energy, all the meaningful time that they could otherwise enjoy in their lives, and for what? To build a fucking AI live photo sharing app.

Not to build infrastructure, to feed the poor, to elevate humanity and to develop a better society. You'll have to be available at any time, any day of the week, and you'll have to use your hard-earned programming skills to develop a motherfucking AI live photo sharing app.

We are truly fucked if that's what we think would be the best way to put some of our most talented professionals to work. Just building the next money-making machine for some useless billionaire.

We are all strung out on Adderall. Our creditors have our collective genitals in a vice grip. Etc.

$80K

lol

As a tech worker, the world is full of these "jobs". The job ad is "write my perfect app idea I know it's a perfect idea because I came up with it and if it fails it's your fault".

Said app is guaranteed to be a shit idea doomed to fail. But it does turn out if you're rich enough then you also hire some people for the job of being bullied by you about it.

Honestly I'm mostly impressed they offer you an average developer salary (to be one of "the most brilliant people in the world") instead of just shares.

Found the CEO’s LinkedIn, describes himself as a “Gladiator of social network multiverse”

The app itself looks like a shitty instagram knock-off, 4.9 stars but only 60 ratings, gonna assume those are all coming from employees/friends/family/Ackman. Jesus Christ, several of the patch notes in the App Store are just “Complete capture of the multiverse is here. Enjoy our LIVE PHOTOS experience and get urself ready to be blown away!”

100x dev working only on things that matter.

1x dev price to work on a tiktok competitor on the weekends.

App is already launched

So you need me to fix it by this summer?

Funded by billionaire investor Bill Ackman

I fucking love that he is making his own Wife Guy Caliphate. He can't stop ruining her life by exposing her plagiarism every day. He has to go full Elon Musk and buy his own social media platform just to post harder.

First backend role, but they launched the app already? So they need someone to come in and fix their already horrible backend written by folks who don't know how to write a backend, and they won't understand why it's not simple to just "fix what's there" and "make what we already did work" when it was all done in a way that makes it impossible to do that.

Also notice they say the skills you learn here will set you up for life. So they aren't even offering equity or anything like that. I can understand taking the risk and working a ton of hours for equity or something that way you at least are monetarily rewarded if you do somehow make a smash hit but they aren't even offering that.

Whoever falls for this deserves what they're gonna get honestly

Java

damn, can't even keep the red flags out of the title

Java, C#, Shaders. Is this a minecraft app?

It always blows my mind reading this "my new app is going to take down Facebook and Tik Tok" energy from people with shitloads of money. Like, I get it when some random techbro is convinced he's going to be the next Zuck because he doesn't understand market capture or critical mass for social media, but how do you talk like this and convince some billionaire angel investor to throw money at you? Surely at some point they're going to stop, pay someone to spend ten minutes explaining why this is a terrible idea to them, and go blow their money on some other braindead startup instead?

Read more on our principles here

Help our perfect billionaire daddy turn his billions into more billions by any means necessary, including the destruction of our lives.

I don't know anything about what java or any other scripting language, but I know that this is one of the most horseshit job postings Ive ever seen.

Product just launched means run

I've done engineering technical writing in the past for a career.

If I had nothing better to do, I'd take the interview and show up with grammar corrections to their joke of a posting. These people clearly aren't serious. I've worked with mega type As in the past, the type of people who are serious. They wouldn't release such a terrible job announcement.

"We are all in team super intense people."

Can't even tell you they're going to over work you with correct Grammer and punctuation for 1 fucking sentence.

Seriously how the fuck does the person whonwrote this still have a job.

And how shitty is your company you made it literally 2 words before a typo.

Not to be a Grammer nazi but for fucks sake it's an official job listing its not a shitpost comment.

You want me to do the work of 100 people? Pay me the salary of 100 people.

You had me at "Bill Ackman"

Very technical Java backend job. Know #C though

They named their app (phototeca) so similarly to an older, similarly-spelled, also pointless app (phototheca) that ddg and google both try to "did you mean" you to the other.

Double damn