this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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apparently I'm in the top 75,000 users and potential dumb money

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 8 months ago

The mods should ban you here just because you were eligible to that scam.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It would be very funny if all the people who bought stock before IPO immediately sell it to tank the price.

Second most funny thing would be if the top 75,000 nerds bought a bunch of reddit stock at the pre IPO price and the price just fucking tanks right as it opens and they're all left holding the bag.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think the second thing is far funnier because for weeks there would be reddit posts like this one "Guys, I'm $10k down from the IPO. Should I sell now or wait?" And a few months later they say "Guys, um - I want reddit to succeed but I'm down $25k. What should I do?"

And - of course - the top replies are stuff like 'You gotta stay strong 'cause this thing is gonna turn around. It's gotta!" Eventually when it's too late Biden's DOJ investigates reportage that such comments were a tiny part of a massive scheme on the net involving bot and AI to manipulate the stock price. Trump won the election and the expected and highly loyal AG Scott Baio says "There's a new sheriff in town. Reddit stock price went down? Boo-hoo. People at Reddit lost money? Good. They deserve it."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

We’ll come back for you (I’m currently selling everything)

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago

"Now that we've fucked everything up and pissed everybody off please bail us out."

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago

It is at this moment I regret deleting my top 1% account. If only so I could ruin their metrics by not participating in the IPO.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I may be wrong but isn't that a sign that they can't find buyers for the public shares and have to try and sell it to potentially committed reddit users?

Inshallah it means reddit will go down

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

I think it's more trying to make themselves a meme stock for the hype like Tesla or Gamestop

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

lol i got that too

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

Never been happier to be a bad poster. No notification for me.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Recently deleted my reddit account I hadn't touched in years because of the ai farming story. Gave the reason for closing as that it's a despicable website with questionable motives. Thanks for giving me more evidence I made the right choice.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

the weirdest thing about this is that it took this long to happen

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Really? The message I got just said that they were going to cut me a check as compensation for all my posting

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Full message, supposedly: https://lemmy.world/post/12279729

I better get my rookie Hexbear numbers up if I want my stonks-up some day.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What stats do you think put you in the top 75,000?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

My account is almost 20 years old, tens of thousands of comments, and has millions karma. From what other people have said, it seems 400,000 comment karma or higher puts you in top 75,000.

Was active for years on certain hobby and technical subreddits, although a few years ago all those subreddits have gone from hundreds of thousands of subscribers with thousands of active users to ghost towns. Site really did go to shit for the only stuff it was actually useful for.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Man hexbear really should ban you. How did you make it 20 years without being banned several times over like me? I've lost count of how many accounts I've had.

-Best Wishes, Elon Musk

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

this makes me wonder why they decided to let users in on the IPO - did they not get enough traction in the traditional circles? Reddit has never really struck me as a particularly "community focused" company

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

LMAO they're not lasting a year

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

So all other considerations aside, it is never a good idea to purchase an IPO. They are guaranteed to plummet in value immediately, always.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Inshallah reddit will die in my lifetime

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

This is so stupid because some of the most active people on the site participated with it via dozens and dozens of accounts rather than one. Analysing the individuals with the highest impact and value is nearly impossible. Some accounts were managed by groups, and accounts are not individuals.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

scammers are gonna have a field day with this