Ask Lemmy

Not sure if it'd help, but you could stick a buuunch of camping, hiking, outdoors, etc. stickers on your van. Try to turn its image from a "ghetto" van to a "hippy / outdoor enthusiast" van. I imagine you can order large sticker packs online for very cheap.

Pigs is pigs, buddy.

You gotta play along unless you wanna start shit. And pigs being pigs means you can't really start telling them what they're doing is inappropriate or unnecessary, that puts em in fight or flight mode and pigs don't fly.

I'd guess your best bet would be that they get used to you and become nonchalant with their check-ins. Just be stupid friendly about the whole thing and maybe try to remember a few of their names. If it's a small town, can't be too many of em. Eventually maybe you can shift it from "Good afternoon, Officer, what seems to be the problem?" to "Ah hey Steve, Mrs. Granger worried about me again? Aint that sweet, how's the kids?"

Edit: I see elsewhere in the thread you mentioned you're living in the van. That makes things harder. Even if you're complying with the law, pigs hate that shit. When I was living in a car, I had a sob story ready for any cop that interrogated me and if I got caught and had to use it, I wasn't sleeping in that county again for another month. The campground bit is especially fucking frustrating, you PAID to be there, that's all on the up and up. They're monsters, buddy, not sure how to help, but I find being some caricature outta some 50's PSA film to em pads their egos and smooths interactions in general. Tho the shoddy van won't help.

Keep Pokemon Go on your phone, when they approach, open the app and then nerd the fuck out on them about whatever Pokemon are nearby and try to recruit them, they'll leave you alone real quick.

If you're not doing anything illegal then I highly recommend keeping your hands out in the open where they can see both of them, and politely answering their questions.

They have a gun, so its not about right/wrong, it's about your own safety. You don't know if that's a decent one or a shitty one.

“What seems to be the problem officer?” Is how you should start every conversation with the police. Be polite, respectful, and firm in your rights. And most importantly don’t say more than the answer to legal questions.

Assuming this is USA, the phrase you're looking for is "Am I being detained, or am I free to go?"

For a more detailed answer, this is what the ACLU has to say.

When cops don't know the laws they are enforcing and thus telling your rights is not only seen as demeaning since it's their job to know, but makes them actively hostile and more likely to violate those rights out of embarrassment, it's a no win scenario. Better to just go along with their security theater and say as little as possible outside of answering direct questions.

You only have rights if you survive the encounter first.

The cop mentality is all about feeling superior, so the last thing you want is to challenge him. Probably gets angry real quick and maybe even violent.

You have to treat them as if they are criminals. Don't upset them, stay quiet, try to act submissive.

How you want the world to treat you or the car only exists in your head. In reality, people gets treated after how they are perceived by others.

1. Always record the police.
2. STFU.

But sometimes you can tell that the police will get violent if you don't lick their boots, so if you have to change your game plan, do what you need to do to.

There's a lot of disappointing comments on here, like no shit you would use a different vehicle if you had access.

First, someone mentioned any cop has the right to check for insurance/etc, so being prepared for that and being amicable, as bright-eyed as you can be. Those marks usually get noted I think though. And another mentioned a sob story, harder in some circumstances but you can get pretty creative from Moms colonoscopy to funeral road trip (from the colonoscopy ofc).

However, I would like to add - do you have any way to meet creative people willing to turn your ghetto van into a painted art car? I was wondering what region you're around (don't need to mention it no worries) and you've mentioned a lot of small towns which makes me think mid-south or west. Either way, going over the car with some primer and a theme may help turn it from ghetto to art-van.

I would try hitting up craigslist or posting on local pages, if funds are an issue I would maybe just mention the situation, doing it in sections. A for sure place you can get it done though for free? Pretty much anywhere in the PNW (OR/WA at least) there are all kinds of weird parties and gatherings and I've seen tons of "paint me" vans, and honestly most of the time they look freaking sick. They're always a mix of hand paint and airbrush.

If you are able to save some over time, you could technically apply these yourself for just barely cheaper than an auto-shop, but it would be some work. You'd need 1 - 1 1/2 of grey primer to cover the van - anywhere from $35 (check dates then shake really, really well) to $85. And then probably the spray/air gun.

Either way, you'll want to follow the proper care for treating the car before you paint it - clean, sand, primer, (maybe sand, maybe not if art car), then the hard part is the clear coat. That part I'm not as familiar with unfortunately.

Last random idea, there are these like rental camper vans, probably a bunch of companies but faking one of those. Same idea as the art car just dumber lol.

Anyways, good luck and I hope in the future you have better reception to questions like this - and that you're able to relax wherever you're staying.

Say "hi".

Damn being white guy is the best shit ever.

What color are you? Pigs basically use as training material, so the darker shade you are the more careful you gotta be with slow hand movements and clear communication.

The answer is “am I being detained or am I free to go?” The answer to every question after is “lawyer” or shut the fuck up. Every day is Shut The Fuck Up Friday.

Are you living out of said van? That complicates things quite a bit. If you really are just chillin' just show them your ID and get on with it. None of these dudes are trained and are already aggressive towards you.

If you're in a vehicle, they do have the right to check if you're the registered owner, are licensed and insured, tags up to date, etc.

Best advice:

https://youtu.be/6EI_RYIEtrg

https://youtu.be/RkN4duV4ia0

Longer, but the most important 45 minutes you can spend today:

https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE

tl;dw - The Miranda warning tells you everything you need to know: "Anything you say can and will be used AGAINST YOU." Not for you, AGAINST YOU.

Nothing you say to the cops will be used to help you, so do not talk to them.

You shut the fuck up is what you do and film them if possible. Are you under arrest? No. Then police may not detain you without cause. See ya!

All inexperienced young people who get into issues with cops or landlords seem to want to be as deferential as possible, thinking that will mitigate any trouble that's coming their way. But in essence, these people always ask for ways to make the cops/landlord's job easier. Don't tell them what words they need to say to you, don't ask for specific paperwork. It's their job to remove your personal freedoms and liberties, why would you make it easier for them to do that?

Best bet? Get some local PD/Sherrif or PBA (or equivalent) stickers and place near the rear license plate and on the glass by the driver side A pillar.

If you want to legally be able to tell police to leave you alone, unfortunately being in a car probably isnt the right move.