this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 99 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I don't have to chop, stew, dismember, or sell a $5 bill. False equivalency argument.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago

I know right? Picking up a lost $5 doesnt carry any of those rewarding tasks.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago

i think you ate the onion on c/theonion lol

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

It's fine. He never said it. He has said he thinks its ridiculous that he gets so much money for doing nothing compared to school teachers while paying less taxes.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

That's just what they want you to think

[–] [email protected] 63 points 9 months ago (16 children)

His parents were rich and the reason he's more rich is that he exploits lots and lots of people.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Every single billionaire got there by exploiting and taking money from the people below him, who did most of the actual work. Nobody can earn a billion dollars, you can only do it by stealing. Buffet and Gates are the worst cause they try so hard to play the good guy billionaire image

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I assume your downvotes are from billionaires. If not, that’s just sad. If you’re defending billionaires and aren’t one yourself, I regret to inform you that you’re a mark.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Average net worth for 35-44 year olds $135 thousand his net worth $119.2 billion. $5 equivalent for him is ~$4,414,814.81

[–] [email protected] 55 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

If you skinned and sold squirrels at a rate of 7.56 squirrels per second, you'd reach his wealth in just 100 years! All it takes is a little hard work!

They'd also go extinct after 1 year. Maybe switch to rats.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

You could alternate between rats and squirrels to allow repopulation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Rats don't have bushy tails, so you'd lose most of the value.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Even if you don't end up rich, eradicating squirrels is a pretty good consolation prize.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

He can buy a super car with less impact on his net worth than you standing there wondering what to get out of the vending machine

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Then they dare to go buy some fucking avocado toast and a mokke lattchiato or whatever the hell, on their fucking bikes with THEIR FUCKING HELMET ON!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't buy avacado toast, make it.

Shits cheap af

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't get all the love for avacado. It tastes like mild plant butter to me. I save a lot of money by never buying it haha.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You have to throw some salt and pepper on it. Otherwise it's very bland. Kinda like an egg.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Dude literally just find more dead squirrels for avocado toast money, it's that simple

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

No, you don't understand the problem with avocado toast. You see, bread is a great source of carbs, and combined with the rind of the avocado, the scraps are a super food that leaves squirrels full of energy and with a thick coat that makes them neigh immortal

When's the last time you saw a dead squirrel ripe for the picking? It was free money

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

🤣 Thanks for repeating Abraham Lincoln's advice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

i love how Lincoln has become the de facto one

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As someone that's shot a few squirrels for tying flies with, I'd just buy the damn tails. Squirrels are filthy little beasts and have a pile of parasites that crawl off them when they're dead.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You evil bastard. How could you? They're so cute!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

They can be destructive fuckers. And, little known fact, red squirrels are the largest predator of juvenile rabbits.

Tasty, tasty rabbits.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

"There's only one way to eat a brace of connies."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A squirrel tore up one of our lawn chair cushions to make its nest. Little piece of shit. Then bits of lawn chair stuffing blew all over the neighborhood that winter.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I was wondering why I wasn't getting telemetry from my watering bowls and started tracking down the issue. I had leaned a pole with a LoRa antenna up against a tree, and one of the little bastards chewed the line through in about a dozen spots. If they get in the soffet of a house they'll tear all the insulation out, then store thousands of spruce cones in there, making a lovely fire hazard.

Hate them almost as much as mice.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

He looks tough but marbled. Stew meat at Best

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Squirrels are pretty high in cholesterol.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Thank you Catherine

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Sell it bro. eBay.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Free cholesterol!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

So you're saying Americans would love it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Now you got a stew goin’

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