this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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General Discussion

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It feels like people are a lot nicer here than on Twitter and Reddit, and even when people disagree, it's generally civil and not an all-out flame war. Also, there's no algorithm promoting outrage all the time.

For me, the anticipation of toxicity was a huge deterrent for me ever participating in real discussions, but here I feel like I can be myself.

I think it's healthier this way.

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[–] [email protected] 186 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Add to it, some of us habitual lurkers (me for example) find it not as meaningless to comment. Didn't want to do it often because most comments get buried and it would feel empty and kinda pointless.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I haven’t been able to quite put my finger on why I’m commenting more here and this nailed it.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yep, I can now see how much of a cesspool Reddit has become when going back and forth between the two platforms. Part of me wants to see the platform grow bigger and bigger, but I fear the same will eventually happen if it gets bigger.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I was also a lurker in "the other place", but convinced myself to participate here since I wanted to help lemmy feel "alive". Now I really like it and comment regularly.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm right there with you guys, would rarely comment on Reddit, but lemmy has been so great and I want to help it flourish as much as I can.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Definitely feels more comfortable here. At first, I thought I wanted all the other refugees to come here and recreate Reddit. But after a few days, I kind of hope no more do. It's such a nice place here as is.

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A small handful of people are working to change that, you find them here and there. Easy to identify as they downvote based on "I don't like that.", they're not really capable of greater complexity usually. Or that's how it seems anyway.

We should expect it to get worse though, as our population grows. It's inevitable, the internet is the internet. Our initially strong culture is an excellent sign though, if our growth continues at a measured pace, we should be able to maintain it for some time.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Especially the upvote/downvote system drives bandwagon behavior. If a post gets like 3 downvotes and the next gets 2, people just look at the votes and assume who's right and follow that. They will literally think votes decides what's right. Though when you're on the other side of that, it's also important to know that votes don't matter and it doesn't mean you're wrong. It's also important to know when to leave a conversation when it stops being a discussion and turns into an argument. Arguments are literally useless and just aggravating, which people won't admit that they love.

The reddit behavior certainly still comes out. But an upside about decentralization is you can block the instance they're from since that annoying behavior tends to follow the same company and you probably block a lot more annoying people as a result.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

We have the momentum now, and that makes a world of difference. Lemmy isn't beholden to any "engagement" metrics, so all the dark patterns that infect other social media have no incentive here. The internet wasn't always toxic (as a general statement). People engage more in conflict than in an interaction with no winners and losers, we're just hardwired that way. The "Web 2.0" crowd hijacked that to keep us in front of more ads for longer, "Hur-dur, number go up." Without those institutional incentives I'm very hopeful that the strong foundation of the Lemmy community can "hug it out" with the few rage baiters that are bringing their bad habits here.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What The fuck did you say to me?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I said you're wonderful stranger. Keep being you (unless you are a dickhead. But I'm sure you're not)

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago

That's the dumbest shit I've read today. Delete your account please /s

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I feel like there isn't a "hive mind" on Lemmy like there was/is on Reddit. Even if just a few folks disagreed with your opinion on Reddit, everyone else felt like they HAD to downvote it too and then the next thing you know, you're being downvoted to oblivion. Here, it seems that folks actually respect your opinion whether or not they agree with it; and while you may get a few downvotes or more, people aren't afraid of upvoting your comment either.

Such a different vibe and I'm here for it!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (22 children)

I think a hive mind will develop, just based on the nature of the format. In any community there will be prevailing opinions that are upvoted and dissenting opinions that are downvoted. People are still settling down and searching for their specific corners to camp in, which is why you're probably seeing more variety for the time being.

Plus Beehaw exists, so there's your hive mind right there. Get it? Cause they're bee themed? Beehive?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does anyone else feel like we're kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop though?

We did see a bit of drama that resulted in various instances being defederated, and even if Lemmy is more resistant to corporate bullshit there are some people and groups out there whose sole purpose seems to be ensuring that nobody else can have nice things.

I'm hoping that the people who contributed fine work towards tools for Reddit will be willing to help improve Lemmy as well, but as the same time users need to understand that while the experience is very "Reddit-like" there are some serious differences in technology and implementation that are going to lead to interesting and potentially unforeseen bumps in the road for the future

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Let's enjoy it while it lasts

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Not enough people remember pre-Digg Reddit. It was a lot like Lemmy is now. It will all come crashing down eventually.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I like lurking, with a comment here or there. I have noticed the comment sections are giant circle jerks with everyone congratulating each other on how smart and civil they are. Better than aggression and trolling but still... ew.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

That was a very insightful point and I appreciate your delicacy in delivering it. Congratulations.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (12 children)

I already see it and it bums me out. People are already stepping in a discussion just to be aggressively mean for no reason. I hope we can reply to them with patience instead of feeding the monster (or, just, y'know, don't engage)

Grumblegrumble this is our chance to be different!

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Yet. I think there's a critical mass aspect to this. The Eternal September of Lemmy is yet to happen

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (6 children)

It also comes down to what instance you happen to visit. Lemmygrad for example is a legit tankie cesspit. There's currently a popular post about Greta Thunberg and it pretty quickly devolves into calling her a traitor, because she met with Zelensky: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/902175?scrollToComments=true . Among other things you will find plenty of justification for the Russian invasion and their war crimes. And the admins openly support trolling outsiders. I'm on the left and I don't have an issue with Marxism or the concept of communism, but fuck that instance.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

How dare you say something like this? Who do you think you are?!

j/k of course. This community has definitely been like a breath of fresh air after metaphorically living for years in a crowded bunker where everyone was constantly passing gas. I'm happy to be here.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Lemmy is new and it’s not very big yet. If it grows big enough it will be eventually

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This, we’re still on our honeymoon

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sure, but it took years for reddit to devolve into what it is today. It started out as a really great place to read interesting articles on all kinds of topics and have intelligent discussions about them afterwards. Reddit hasn't been like that in a very, very, very long time but what we have going on here right now is very close to that.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's wild. Maybe it's a honeymoon period where we're all in this big spaceship together, or maybe that's just what it's gonna be like! There's a sort of liberating feeling of being on Lemmy that I think brings out the best in people

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I like the mental imagery of us all being in a Lemmy-shaped spaceship, traveling to an exoplanet to start a new society because the Earth was destroyed by corporate greed. We're all laughing and joking together, there's free pizza, lots of nerdy discussions, and the atmosphere is jubilant, having escaped our dystopian living conditions and feeling hope for the future.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I quite litterally never posted or commented anything on Reddit, just couldn't stand being absolutely shitted on if I said something wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My very first ever post on Reddit,12 years ago, the first commentor called me a fa**ot and the second commentor told me 'KYS'. I posted a picture of a dog sitting in the driver seat of a car with his elbow hanging out and he was wearing a sweater. It was discouraging to say the least and burned me pretty bad. I deleted the post, tried to wipe it from my memory, continued on reddit for the next decade treading lightly knowing how toxic and mean it could be.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Here's the picture in case you want to see it and say nice things. I thought it was worthy.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What a silly thing to say, you poopy dumb-dumb

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wait until the dummies figure it out. This is one reason I dread interacting with threads users.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Just don't ask questions on political subs

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

There's also a good life social tip of that to make friends you probably shouldn't discuss politics, it just creates division. But if you do tend to slide in with "man this thing is happening and it's totally fucked because x, y, z" you get them to see it without a political lense and people agree significantly more. Just don't mention political parties.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

I think one thing people need to keep in mind how small this community is right now.

Right now communities are big if they have a couple thousand subscribers, and the portion of people here generally have a commonality in choosing this place over places like reddit.

I time, those opposing opinions will come but I think it is good to try and temper them with the reminder that we do not want to live in an echo chamber. Best we can do is encourage people to engage in a way that makes everyone feel welcome.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You absolute nincompoop. I can't believe you've said this. Trash tier.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Probably because all of us are real people struggling to find an alternative to Reddit where we used to spend our time in. No bots, no algorithms, just real people trying to make our new home a better place.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Eh. I've already spotted some ideological zealots and full threads pandering to them on here, sadly. I think if Lemmy does take off, we'll sadly see that culture of toxicity blossom here too.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Give it time. Should it become more popular the trolls will come. In fact I've seen a few already (some anti Ukraine posts makes me think those were professionals trying to shift opinion, but what do I know).

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Surprisingly, all of my posts and comments on here have had positive engagements. I would have many toxic people replying to me had it been on reddit

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Just wait a bit longer...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

My main motivator to comment here is this being federated, a decentralized network that belongs to no one but the community.

I'm old enough, and I have been on the internet for quite long to know that we can't trust centralized platforms. If you add to that the misplaced incentives of profit and what you get is simply a community time-bomb.

But here? Here we have a completely different scenario. We may still post shit like beans for the lulz, but this happens organically. The end game is just this, and not some fucked corporate agenda.

tl;dr Beans here are an end in itself.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Completely agree, so far. Will be interesting to see where it's at in a year...

:)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (6 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I'm not counting on it staying that way, but that's ok. Upvote systems, dedicated channels, etc, will always promote a type of groupthink but you can always opt out of a community. Like if Lemmy gets it's own r/conservative, or something, I would likely not comment there.

That said, there are definitely malicious actors at play on most mainstream platforms, stoking anger and divisiveness. Even proof that fake news is spread for that exact reason. You won't see that here for a while but if it does come, I'm not sure if this system is setup to protect against it.

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