this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 109 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (64 children)

Why are we infantilizing adults? Interpersonal relationships are complex and nuanced; we can acknowledge and even warn against the potential dangers of severe age-gap relationships without insulting the autonomy and choices of those involved. These neo-puritanical bullshit tendencies creeping in on the left needs to stop; it's a trojan horse for the next generation of conservatives. Reject non-nuanced conservative-bate thinking.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 10 months ago (4 children)

What on earth is going on with that picture? Apparently the main source is this picture here.

Who processed it and why?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago (9 children)

Looks like someone replaced their faces with Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

That makes some kind of sense. Internet logic perhaps.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago

I don't know what the impetus is, but some people seem compelled to put face filters on pretty much everything. I saw a post a while back with a historical photo that had been processed for some reason. It's absurd.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Happily married but from what I’ve encountered in the wild, I wouldn’t/couldn’t do anything under 28 or so. It’s a completely different worldview.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not that worldview matters that much when having sex

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Yeah, but that only lasts 90 seconds. What do you do for the rest of the day?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago

Plot the downfall of the bourgeoisie

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Send her home? It's not like you are forced to spend a whole day with a hookup?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As I've gotten older, it's not even just the worldview anymore, the body can look attractive but one look at the face and if the woman is young enough it's an immediate turn-off.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 10 months ago (17 children)

Half your age plus seven.

Shit’s not hard, guys.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I don’t judge the age difference as long as they’re both adults. What two consenting adults do is up to them, it’s none of my business.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It depends on the relative power imbalance at this point. If a 20 year old is out at bars going home with 50 year old dudes, then slay queen. If it's 20 year old secretary with 50 year old boss, then there's a much higher chance that the situation is fucked, though still not 100% I suppose.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A relationship between a 20 yo and a 17 yo isn't unethical. It's not like we magically become more mature once we turn 18.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Some US state lawmakers would disagree

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

depends what your looking for

i like 1999 Dodge Durango type women

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Solid. Rusty. Burning oil.

I can see it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Beat up undercarriage.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Nah on tinder it's 18 to 118 for me. Keep it legal, don't hurt anybody, have fun.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (3 children)

don't hurt anybody

Gonna have to be real careful in your upper range then.. Not judging, just warning 😁

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Make sure the hip has already been replaced.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

My 120 year old grandma is disappointed.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (16 children)

How do people deal with getting older when the hottest girls are out of your age range.

I was hoping as I get older women I'm most attracted to would get older. Seems my standards are just lowering but a 20 year is still banging.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago

Disclaimer: I'm old and retired. My wife is 7 years younger than me and we've been married 37 years.

You will always stop and look at and admire a pretty young lady. You might even think to yourself, "If I was 40 years younger!" And then immediately think to yourself "But any way".

As you get older you will become more attracted to older women. Not because you think they are prettier than younger women, that's biology for you. But, you will find the personality and cultural reference points of age far more compelling than plain beauty in your relationships. Turns out, shared life experiences and culture means more in the long run than the smell of bubble gum and all the drama of youth.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

Eh. I want to fuck a 20 year old. I want to have a relationship with a 40 year old. I've been in two different casual relationships with women younger than me (33/23, and 35/26) and they were exhausting. Not having any common cultural touchstones was a much bigger bummer than I thought it would be. So I wanted to spend an hour or two with them, but I find myself perfectly content spending an entire day with my current (39/35) fiance.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You're still gonna be attracted to 20yos physically. There's over 100k years of evolution that wants you to mate with the fittest, most attractive mate that you can. But is that a person you actually want to spend time with outside of the bedroom? So, yeah, your standards in regards to physical attractiveness are gonna drop as you age, but your other standards will likely change too.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

How do people deal with getting older when the hottest girls are out of your age range.

There are certain qualities a man needs to consistently attract hot women. Age does not matter as much as one would think. It certainly doesn't matter in a way that is fair to women.

So as the hottest girls leave my age range, I don't much think about it. I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm worrying about how old I'll be at my kids' graduations not what any 20-somethings think about old man me.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)

In my experience, it doesn't matter what you set your age or distance range to in Tinder, because you're going to get people 10 years older or younger and a hundred miles farther away than you specify anyway.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Divorced? Who the hell can even afford to get married anymore...

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As an actual 40 YO divorced dust that used apps for a bit, I felt weird doing 10 +/-, but I can't imagine there are THAT many guys with such a wide range.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You're going to be surprised at the number of young women with daddy issues.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You mean 18-99? Haven't used tinder in ~7 years or so, but I believe there was an upper limit. Found out by trial and error that apparently some women enter their year of birth instead of their age, when I matched with someone who was allegedly 97 years old.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

As a 40 year old dude I don't think I'd be setting my age range to that upper bound if I were to be divorced. More like 35 and that's with large caveats.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

I thought this was the default setting until the user goes in to edit preferences. It was doing that to me until I went in to stop it from flinging my profile at literally everyone.

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