this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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This discourse was going around twitter today apparently and im curious takes from here.

Which is it for you?

For me i prefer playersexuality. I want to be able to romance any romance option regardless of my charachters gender. I dont want to be stuck with only Arcade Gannon if i want to do m/m

I agree that sexuality can be important to a charachter. But if you wanna do that, seems like the charachter can just not be a romance option.

That said. In RPGs devs can do what they want. You want a charachter to be monosexual and a romance option, have at it. (Unless theyre all straight, then fuck you).

I do kinda hate what The Sims did by adding monosexuality. Felt like such a virtue signal that made the game less fun. All Sims being pansexual was always more fun for me. Especially since i usually play that game as a pansexual slut. Unless i decide my player Sim is mono, but thats on the player's end.

Monosexual townies in the Sims should at least be optional (is it? Idk havent played Sims 4 since this update).

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Depends on the game. If there's only a handful of romance options playersexual design allows your character a range of options, but if there's a wide range of characters to romance having set sexualities allows them to have more detailed personalities and preferences.
I general though, I prefer neither - I don't mind the romance in most of the games I've played, but don't usually find it particularly adds anything important.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

In a perfect world where more game writers weren't annoying dipshits who see writing gay or even bi characters as beneath them, romance options with defined sexualities would be no issue.

In this world I have been burned one too many times playing a game with romance options where the heterosexual romance options are with the characters who are plot relevant and have the most content and the gay and bi options are the side characters who have less content, sometimes explicitly because they're the ones who can get killed off for fun (THIS IS ABOUT YOU BIOWARE I AM SPECIFICALLY TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT HACK FRAUDS FUCK YOU)

yeah no, just give me playersexual characters every time, even in ths cases where the devs make it clear they were written with straight relationships as the implied default (Stardew Valley....)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

straight relationships as the implied default (Stardew Valley....)

Well, there's at least one way to solve that problem...

spoilerKind of hard for straight to feel like the default when your romance options are 12 buff furry dudes.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I think it's honestly better to view it through the lens of it being a game design tool moreso than a philosophical debate. If you want to emphasize player choice and freedom, playersexual. If you want to emphasize characterization and worldbuilding, set sexuality.

If you're going to incorporate dating sim components into your game, it's generally better to lean towards playersexual. Otherwise, you run into a sort of zugzwang where you can
a) lock romance options to het (e.g. Persona) and alienate queer people, even worse when you don't have a gender option which also alienates 50% of said hets, or
b) have set sexuality and allow some queer relationships with certain characters (e.g. Fire Emblem: Three Houses) but have people annoyed about the arbitrariness of it, especially when there are no characters that cannot be romanced in a heterosexual way but limited queer options.

I think there's space for set sexuality, especially in linear, narrative-driven RPGs (e.g. Final Fantasy, Undertale, Zelda). Set sexuality really works when you want to emphasize relationships between characters that the protagonist/player character is not party to (e.g. alphys-anxious undyne-owo) Furthermore, set sexuality, when there is a romance mechanic, best works when you establish a boundary between player and character.

Ultimately, it's a choice of what you want to grant to the player, as well as the distance between the player and the protagonist. If you want to let the player choose between characters to romance in the game, and that's an aspect that is a design component within the game, you're usually better off sticking to playersexual, unless you want to take a hyperrealistic angle to it. If you don't want to incorporate that aspect into your game, there's genuinely no need, stick to set sexuality. If you want to establish the protagonist as a character that exists outside of the player embodying them, lean towards set sexuality.

I honestly am just tired of romance being attached as a weird afterthought to certain RPGs. It's sterile when it's not handled with a modicum of care, and it definitely cements the whole unease-inducing 'escapist power fantasy' vibe you get in RPGs that take this approach alongside emphasizing openness. If you're gonna let me date, let me date. If not, why bother?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Someone needs to make a rogue like dating game and that person is me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It depends on the goal of the game and the narrative it is trying to portray. It the character in the game is supposed to be a representation of the player in the game world, then it's only fair for the player to decide their own sexuality. If the character is a set character in the game with their own narrative/backstory, they should have their own sexuality and the player should not be able to change it. This requires competent writing though, which is rare in video games.

As for the NPCs which the player can romance, again that depends on how in depth and good the writing is. If the writing and lore is shallow, just let the NPCs be bisexual or pansexual and let the player romance who they want. If there is in depth narrative, good writing and worldbuilding with regards to NPCs, they should have a set sexuality that the player must respect.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I think the first tweet is the kind of argument that sounds good at first but falls apart the more you think about it. Sexuality can be a big part of a character, but it isn't always. I think making such a sweeping statement is quite ignorant, actually.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I think this problem exists primarily in the shadow of games historically being written mostly by and for straight men. Games that break this trend, like Baldur's Gate 3, are right now remarkable for it, but once this is the norm the problems of both choices mostly disappear.

But while we are stuck in the present with everyone being bi, I wouldn't mind the characters actually saying "I am bisexual" once in a while.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Video game design should be centred around making capital G Gamers mad. Therefore, the every romanceable character must be gay. Thems the rules.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Either can be good, I did like how in DA:I you can flirt with Cassandra as a woman and she awkwardly takes you aside after a while to tell you that she is in fact straight (and crushed my heart forever kitty-cri-potato ) the same with Dorian, though he's the aggressive flirt in that case.

Then in Mass Effect it just doesnt really even make sense, honestly. Like you're completely different species, in some cases you cant even kiss properly for fear of allergic reactions and you're still stuck on some arbitrary gender binary romances? Live a little, goddamn.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Hot Take maybe; Player-sexuality as the norm is probably inevitable as more of these games tend towards adding mixed and diverse gender options. No developer wants to be the one deciding what combinations of body types, genders, pronouns, voices etc etc falls under 'available to lesbian romance option' or 'available to straight male flirting'.

That said, my preference is still set sexuality. Especially the more grounded a setting. Judy from Cyberpunk (recency bias am I right) for example likely wouldn't feel as real a character to me without the history of messy lesbian situation-ships thing she has going on.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

That said, my preference is still set sexuality. Especially the more grounded a setting. Judy from Cyberpunk (recency bias am I right) for example likely wouldn't feel as real a character to me without the history of messy lesbian situation-ships thing she has going on.

she could be bi if the PC is male and still be a lesbian if the PC isn't and the distinction matters. the world where you picked the other gender in character creation doesn't exist during the game so i don't understand why it should affect the narrative (unless the writers are cowards, of course. can't really say "change a thing" and expect nothing else to ripple from that on the dev side)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If we’re going to be dunking on playersexual, I do think we have to come to terms with the fact that character creation in general is kind of a trade off for writing quality, and that having a more generic experience is kind of the price you pay for a truly customizable character

I’m tempted to say it’s kind of a toss up of which is better when the character is customizable. Set sexuality is probably better there when it can be done without too much effort, but playersexual just makes sense and can probably be done well. When the character is preset, of course it should be a set sexuality, because the player character itself is already set. There’s no reason not to plan for it at that point.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

BG3 but every character has a lil bi flag badge hexbear-bi-2

Surely I'm not the only one who finds "romance" options in games to be profoundly weird, though? I feel like the game-y mechanics do not rub up well against what is meant to be a relationship...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Now I feel weird because the discussions here are great, in depth, and nuanced, but the way I feel about this is kinda boring and uncomplicated? Am I missing something?

If I'm playing a customized character that I made, I prefer characters to be playersexual, allowing custom relationships to match my custom character.

If I'm playing as a written character and experiencing a set story, it is better for all characters to be written well, and have realistic sexualities, as part of the story presented.

As far as representation goes, I think both can have problems, but neither are inextricably problematic.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

basically i want good queer characters whose queerness isn't ignorable and is a notable facet of their lives. i think playersexual characters are often a copout, where they write a heterosexual character and then let them date the mc, but if they're textually bi or pan or ace or something than it's fine by me. just make sure they aren't consistently het except for the mc i hate that shit

like i see people talking fire emblem. dorothea is into women! it's very simple to make the playersexual thing work, just have good writing

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

3 Houses is also interesting in that, like, you can make a solid case that Ingrid is gay but is restricted by her society's expectations for what it means to be a crested noble, especially a woman crested noble. The subtext with Felix and Sylvain is also pretty strong and along the same lines, as with why Gilbert left his family. Then there's Hubert and his devotion to a queer woman who wants to tear down the system causing people to repress like this.

There's a lot of writing just under the surface that has interesting things to say about queerness and what it means to dismantle the systems that suppress it that I wish had been much more explicit.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I actually can't even remember the last time a video game character was actually bi or pan rather than just player sexual and that sucks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

as mentioned, fire emblem three houses! dorothea openly talks about being into women and is constantly flirting with them, and has an ending where she's explicitly in a relationship with another women that isn't the player character (and who the player character can't romance as a woman, but can as a man. it's definitely not perfect!) similar things for plenty of other characters, as laid out by orannis62, where queerness is a part of the world and different places and people have different relationships with it. adrestia seems to be much more chill about it, given dorothea can openly say she's looking to marry a woman and monica's whole deal, whereas faerghus is incredibly restrictive and several characters in it are implied to be queer but repressing or closeted because of social pressures

this is the kind of thing i want more of in games, to acknowledge how characters' queerness affects them and how their environments shape their queerness. and i don't necessarily want every game to do this. in a perfect world there would be some stardew valleys as well, where it's just everyone is bi and that's not a big deal it just means you can choose to date anyone who's dateable, and it wouldn't matter because there would be plenty of games that seriously think about it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago

The answer is it depends on the game IMO. A game where you play a defined, scripted character like The Witcher ? I guess the criticism could make sense (even then I don't think it matters much).

A game like BG3 / most cRPGs where you create the character from scratch entirely ? anything goes IMO, it's your character, you decide its sexuality.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As a queer polyam person, I want the game to be playersexual, and I want the game to allow me to romance everyone in the same playthrough. Doesn't matter what character I'm playing let me romance everyone all of the time thank you.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

The first item on the bitinerary is making everyone hexbear-bi-2 and hexbear-polyam in videogames.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Like games of skill. That's right let's queer the casino party-sicko

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Stardew Valley is one of my favorite games, but I don't like that befriending each of the romanceable characters inevitably leads to romance. At the very least, you should have some choice about if you want to smooch them before you give them so many shiny rocks and your smooch stat exceeds the smooch threshold.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

theres a platonic option mod

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

There's also a mod that lets you marry all of them which is more my jam.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is one of the few times when the gamers are right and we should just make it playersexual. I play games to do an escapism. I don't want to have every gay romance be an in-depth exploration of trauma and oppression in a hetero-dominant world. I want to go on gay adventures with my polycule of wacky characters, not be constantly reminded why my own life sucks as well.

You can remove the exploration of sexuality in their routes but then you have literally no reason for them to have set sexualities in the first place. It doesn't really come up in the story or have a reason beyond making you choose a different gender next go-around.

Of course if the game is designed to be an exploration of sexuality then that's different.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I don't want to have every gay romance be an in-depth exploration of trauma and oppression in a hetero-dominant world. I want to go on gay adventures with my polycule of wacky characters, not be constantly reminded why my own life sucks as well.

I don’t see why everything has to be traumatic and dark. Or why it has to be an “exploration” of sexuality. Some people are just gay or straight or pan or whatever and don’t think too deeply about their preferences.

You (a man) hire bank robber to be your partner on heist -> you casually express romantic interest -> put on some rizz -> he becomes your lover and partner in crime

And that’s it. Not every queer character has to be some battered person. It’s definitely not reflective of reality in some areas of the world, but like you said… escapism. Plus it is reality for other people around the world.

Games like Stardew Valley (and recently Corral Island, or something like that?) have some of the most diverse cast of characters set in a rural farm setting lol. Name me a place where Arabs, Indians, Hispanics, East Asians, and white, rural people get along in an isolated, small farming community. I don’t think it does exist. Maybe it is alienating to see such an idealistic portrayal of your inclusion in a world/community that in reality would hate you, but at the same time, not everything has to be revived around those topics.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

It is funny that you bring up Stardew though since the romance options in that are playersexual. Its actually a good example of that working well.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don’t see why everything has to be traumatic and dark. Or why it has to be an “exploration” of sexuality

See the very next line I wrote in my comment where I addressed this.

You can remove the exploration of sexuality in their routes but then you have literally no reason for them to have set sexualities in the first place. It doesn't really come up in the story or have a reason beyond making you choose a different gender next go-around.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I don’t see why that’s a bad thing. Maybe you see them holding hands with a same sex partner? Or maybe you try to romance them and learn something new, then you move on (this one should be done quickly to not waste players’ time).

I like Stalker’s A-Life and RDR2’s NPC system. Characters have lives beyond your presence. If expanded to sexuality, then seeing them just going on about their lives and maybe see hints of sexuality is enough for me to be fine with fixed sexuality.

Lots of games don’t have any exploration of gender but still let you choose. Like when was the last time Pokémon games got real deep about lesbian or gay love? Yet you still choose your gender. Would you want it to be all male or female PCs since gender is not explored?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I agree that characters with deliberate and well-written sexualities would be ideal, but on the other hand “bisexual chaos world” also sounds pretty rad. Is it possible to have both?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Technically BG3 is that. On some forum like 15 years ago, Ed Greenwood said that bisexuality is the default in the Forgotten Realms setting.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The problem with accepting word of god is that also means that people bang their siblings all the time in this world too

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

tbh from what I've seen of search statistics for porn leads me to believe it's not all that uncommon IRL very-normal

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Dont worry. I dont think most of the people watching stepcest porn on the hub literally want to bang their sibs. Theres stuff im into id never want to cary out the real version of.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I want a game set in the roman empire with authentic Roman sexuality. Actually I thought about this more, I probably don't. It would just be intresting to see sexuality organized against the western consensus

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You fuck everything with a sort of hole, so long as you top it ain't gay.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

In games where PC has a well defined personality and is distinct from the player it makes sense to have their sexuality fixed as part of the story, but in open ended RPGs that try to give the player as much choice as possible and blur the distinction between the player and the character, a set sexuality just comes across as lazy writing. I can set myself up as a fire-breathing lizard person with the highest cheekbones in history but the male characters are totally claws-off? That's dumb.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I agree with this. If the character is the sum of the choices that you make, then you should decide the sexuality.

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