The ability to stop pooping for three days.
You have to post about it online and keep the community updated on your progress, becoming the first widespread Lemmy meme
Each day you don't poop, you lay an egg that hatches into a random monster. The egg is indestructible.
The ability to talk to animals
You can talk to animals now. I think what you mean is you want them to be able to talk too.
But only about collecting stamps.
Your already can talk to animals. We all understand you.
You can talk to animals, but it includes insects and birds... and you can't shut their conversion out for some peace and quiet
you can talk to animals, but they don't want to (they are very prejudiced)
The ability to touch a book to instantly know its content.
Turns out, the books you touch are actually quite satisfied and content.
It only works if you touch it with your penis.
The title of the book appears somewhere on your skin, and if removed you will forget any knowledge from that book, whether you obtained it through reading or your power. The titles must be legible, and cannot overlap.
but you must feel a paper cut from every single page of knowledge
Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.
Their debt transfers to you.
The debt alwaye gets randomly assigned to another person
The ability to read, write, and speak every language
You become deaf and blind
Stopping time
but for everyone, including yourself.
Fuck
But unfortunately you can't start it again.
I can reverse any moderator actions.
You're an admin on reddit
I can summon food by saying its name.
You consume the calories of every food by just naming it.
ability to instantly know exact composition of a substance just by looking at it
The ability to study, understand and use fantasy level magic.
you are still bound by laws of physics
Perfect timing.
Except you feel the need to always respond to everyone else's conversations. Your timing is impeccable yet everyone comes to resent your witty remarks.
Ability to secrete custard from my hands at will.
Teleportation by thinking of a place
It will only teleport your body, not your clothes
Impervious to side effects.
But your side effect is infinite power.
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