273
Anon is chased by lions (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 79 points 9 months ago

There is an app called “Zombies, run!” that literally uses the same idea, but with zombies instead of lions. It basically makes you listen to a story where you go looking for supplies and every so often, you get chased down by a horde of zombies and it uses your phone’s motion sensor to track whether you’re moving fast enough to escape them.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

This sounds fun got to try it :D

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Yeah, but it doesn't make you think that you're actually being chased by zombies because you know you're not being. It's just a fun game. It's not going to increase testosterone levels. It's just about being healthy.

OP here is just been thick.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

Well neither does imagining being chased by lions then. Unless you have really good imagination, I guess. But I imagine in that case, either would work.

[-] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago

I love when anons post "I'm going to put a giant magnet in front of my car to pull it forward without gas. Any scientific proof that it works?" as if they didn't just pull this bullshit directly out of their own schizophrenia.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Schizo posting is the best kind of posting

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Well, they do say that 2 heads are better than one

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

So a maglev train / magnetic crane? As far as ideas go, that one is not only possible, it is real and practical. When you get right down to it, electric cars are basically electricity creating magnetic forces to spin the drive shaft to pull the car forward without gas.

It isn't so much about schizophrenia than it is about trying to laugh about why its absurd and it won't work before trying to see where it would and why and where it might.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

The funniest part of this is the title of the OP. "Lions chasing me." Tells you nothing about the actual post but makes it that much funnier

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

I'm going to edit the post title to match this.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

I tend to think that the testosterone increase would come from absolute terror, and fleeing in panic, but OP will know that the lions roaring is only a recording. He’ll know he can stop if one of his shoes is uncomfortable, ffs. That changes the scenario a bit.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Maybe sounds that might actually happen around OP happening randomly and also realistic sounding. Like a car beeping right next to them or aggressive dogs right on their heel. Would probably only work for a bit.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

Why are total dipshits always obsessed with their t levels

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I really wonder about this. Where I live, there are near-constant "men's clinic" commercials, especially on the radio, and I'm just curious about how widespread a problem "low-t" actually is? Is basically every man over 30 struggling to get it up?

Or are these clinics just trying desperately to convince men that they need their services?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Because I have the only people who care.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Because, for them it's really just a shirt.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

there's a place in UK where you can stay next to the lion enclosure and they will walk past your bedroom window

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Where abouts?

And having heard a lion's roar before... imagine waking up to that. Holy shit.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Yeah but the zoo staff will kick you out in the morning when they find you in there.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

The San Diego zoo has a big sign to prevent kids running by the cheetah cage because they get way too excited.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I can't help but wonder if that just makes things more boring for the cheetahs. Chasing things is something they probably really want to do.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

A fight or flight response triggers adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. The latter being the stress hormone, which is highly catabolic. Sounds like the opposite of what anon wants.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Just get a crazy ex-significant other near where you live, same thing. But that's going to raise your cortisol levels and drop your testosterone levels, the opposite of what green wants.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Green is on 4chan. They're the one who is the crazy ex.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Yeah, Rokki did it, but with eye of the tiger

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Is that the Finnish Rocky?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

When do lions roar? I personally wouldn't want to tip off a prey animal that I'm coming for them.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I mean if the prey is already in full sprint it doesn't really matter does it?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Shouldn't you focus on giving chase at that point?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Nothing like a good battle cry to start off a chase

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

That's true, I suppose.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Op needs to wire his soundtrack up to an insulin pump filled with adrenaline. I'm thinking lift scene from crank + lions

this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
273 points (93.9% liked)

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