this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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Memes

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Laittakaa meemejä tänne.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

I don't think that would work, hospice nurses are pretty chill. I mean no matter how much of an asshole you are, they know they can smugly wait and watch you die.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You know what else died in combat? Every bee that’s ever stung anybody throughout all time.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck yeah, can't make mead without honey

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Pint half full

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Some men live just to send bees to Valhalla

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Since a vast majority of bees are female, they should become a swarm of Shieldmaidens!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did it work? How is the Beer?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

** ends up in fólkvangur instead **

Petting Freyja's war-cat...

horse-sized purrs

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thats also acceptable i think.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Very much so, yes. Honestly Válhöll is a little hardcore for most warriors (Berserkers would have a blast though). But tbh Helheim is a pretty nice place if you aren't itching for bloodshed...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I thought you had to die with weapon in hand? Or is it a fictional interpretation? (well, invented as a later interpretation, I mean)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Yes, that's a contemporary interpretation. Most people wouldn't want to go to Válhöll, and even the majority of warriors would rather rest in Helheim. And, of those chosen by the Valkyries, half to go Fólkvangur with Freyja. You also don't have to die in battle necessarily. A legendary warrior who earns Odin's favor might go even if he dies of age raising sons to be warriors (a very respectable position).

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Its conflicting even in the sources. There's at least two lines that directly say "everyone who dies in battle goes to Valhal" However the sagas and Eddas are full of people dying in battle who are said to go to Hel. Similarly we have many people who do not die in battle who seem to believe they will be going to Odinn's hall. (academic speculation warning) most of the people who die outside of battle but still intend to go to valhal deem to be specifically Odinn worshippers. Perhaps there's a link there to the odinnic cult.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Odin: "Fine. You're in. Go sit at the kid's table. The adults are looting and pillaging and quaffing beer."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I read queefing beer, and had a whole new picture of Valhalla.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"Queen of Valhalla, sit on my face !"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

I'm happy to accept a juice box to the face as part of my end of life nursing duties. To Valhalla with you all!!!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Iirc that's not even their heaven it's just where their best fighters go to join Odin's army so they can fight and lose in Ragnarok. Iirc Hel is their underworld and it can be a good or bad place depending on who you are.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's not even where all their fighters go. Odin only gets half. Freyja gets the other half who go to Fólkvangr.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

And don't you also have to die with weapon in hand too?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why would you want to go to Valhalla? If you're tossing juice at a caretaker to cheat your way into an afterlife, you're not the type that'd do well murdering people for eons.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

How does that connect? Maybe they were the type who was really good at murdering and bad at dying. Now they're old and weak because that and this is the last chance to escape Hel's grip.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Back in the day people were really dumb as fuck

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

We have a bunch of Christians in Israel breeding red cows to make Jesus come back.

https://www.timesofisrael.com/red-heifer-temple-institute/

The stupid never left.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

My ancestors are smiling on me, Imperial. Can you say the same?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine thinking that the belief of a sky-fairy that sticks his baby into a virgin woman is somehow more sensible than Valhalla.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

In which case the observation is "people are really dumb", no past tense.