this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
1116 points (99.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26643 readers
3215 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 135 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Imagine having to blow your instrument

this comment was made by percussion gang

[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine having to bang your instrument

This comment was made by vocals gang

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine eating ass With your instrument.

-autoharp gang

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

Well played! I was expecting deep throating but you took it a step further! 👏

...just like your mom last night

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine not having an instrument to bang

This comment was made by the ~~finger~~ piano gang

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine having to finger your instrument

This comment was made by the voices in my head gang

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Imagine having to finger your instrument

This comment was made by the triangle gang

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

I know this comments wasn't written by percussion gang because it isn't in crayon and it uses words.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I'd rather people jerk off, finger or blow their beloved instruments than kicking and beating them.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Composers be like here is a weird whistle to blow and the percussion gang has to do it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yeah now im thinking how you put your lips on one end and then do a reach around on the other.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

The rusty trombone is a classic.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine having to finger your instrument's clitorises for it to change notes.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And that's not even touching what the French Horns are doing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Twisted fister makes her moan so good.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

With a trumpet you just change the jerking for fingering

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Either way you're blowing

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine only having 3 buttons on your instrument. Brought to you by the woodwinds gang

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

You forgot the spit button, but yeah

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As a trumpet player, this meme is hilarious. As a woodwind player, my wife sees this meme and says that it doesn't matter, the trombone is always too fucking loud sitting right behind her.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't trumpets have a slide? Is this just slide envy?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah the third valve slide.

To this day I never understood it's purpose as I'd lost the key ring to it and never used it.

My teacher said it was for getting the right tune when using the third valve yet my trumpet was always in tune even without using it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s for tuning

Trumpets don’t need it much until you get into the top end of the range, where certain notes are out of pitch. 5th partial is particularly flat, and 7th is sharp. Using 3rd valve as a replacement for 1+2 is flat, so you use the slide to correct.

Doesn’t really matter until you get to a pretty high level, are playing in a large brass band or know your instrument well enough to know which notes tend to be a few hz off.

Weather can also be an exaggerating factor, so playing indoors won’t have the same need

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I'd say the use of the 1st and 3rd slides can be taught pretty early on. The low D is sharp and needs a bit of slide, and the low C sharp is even more sharp (can be off by 25 cents or more depending on the horn) and needs more slide. These are on the mid-low range of the instrument and are some of the first notes that beginners learn to play, and they sound pretty wildly sharp without a bit of adjustment. Not that you'd need to insist on it to beginners, but it wouldn't hurt to at least mention that the real fingering for a low D is 1+3 + slide.

In my experience when folks say their low Ds and C#s aren't sharp, it's usually because their main tuning slide is too far out and they're playing everything way flat, or the horn just has major tuning issues.

Weather can definitely affect tuning, but it affects it pretty much uniformly. If it's hot out the overall pitch will rise, if it's cold the pitch will drop. You just adjust your main tuning slide accordingly and continue to use your valve slides the same way.

All this is to say I think the use of the slides should be part of the fingering chart. It doesn't take much energy to learn and it makes a huge difference.

Source: I never grew out of being a band kid and play trumpet for a living.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

What's the difference? You're blowing it anyway

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Trumpeteers are jelly because they don't have an equivalent to Trombone Champ

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don’t even want to know what the French horn players are doing to their instruments…

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I once had a friend that preferred dating French horn players. She liked the way they hold her.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

fingering it. We tend to be upbeat about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I'm mainly a trumpet player, but I do have a horn and occasionally fill in at my community college band, fingering is apt but I would also add "gently kissing".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Violinist: sweats in vibrato

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My 12 year son plays the trumpet. He'd love this meme.

But I will not show it to him.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

his only comment, as he turns away to try to hide the embarrassment forming in his cheeks, would probably be 'thanks. i.. uh.. already saw that one'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

lol that's probably a wise parenting decision.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over my trombone because it’s the loudest instrument in the band.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why not just use an euphonium?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Because being direct about sexuality is far preferable than innuendo.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You know what they say : Trombonists do it in 7 positions.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Italian that instrument is called "trombone a tiro" and, well, it has a resemblance with the slang verb "tr*mbare" for some reason that only today I have figured out.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You can say bad words on the internet, we promise we won't tell your mom.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

As a member of the euphonium gang, I approve of this meme

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You've never heard of "the rusty trombone"?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Is that anything like the rusty venture?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That's why they all have spit valves

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Putting gang after your instrument was started by violin gang. Ling Ling > lung lung

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Mastromboter