this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2024
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Autism
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In my previous house we had utensil fairies who willfully would hide all the forks or spoons around the house to thwart our use of cutlery for eating. They fixated on one or the other, so our draw would be flush with forks but lacking in spoons or vice versa.
Eventually I just gave up and started supplying new infusions of new flatware. As the internet matured (and with the help of girlfriends in the restaurant industry) I'd find restaurant suppliers who'd set me up with just spoons or just forks, rather than full dining sets.
After seventeen years of this, I left, with the war for cutlery ongoing.
... If I had this my home would become difficult to burgle as I'd have invested in a set of security cameras. I'd have to know where they go when they disappear.