this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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How do you ask for help? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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I feel like I give help easily but I don't feel ok asking. How do you become ok with asking for help? I have no idea what conversations that include this even sound like. In my mind I come across as begging and losing connection with the person or people I ask. How can I think about this differently?

Edit: a little more context, although this applies generally I think. I recently got surgery. I have enough help at home to get by, but it would be nice I suppose if a friend wanted to help out in some way too while I recover. I'm not exactly sure what kind of help that would entail, maybe cleaning or cooking or even just visiting. But I struggle with asking for help in even "normal" circumstances, like moving, or a major project, or even just emotional support.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you! This was helpful, and I added context to the post as well. This is indeed help from friends. I'll have to try thinking of it as a favor and see what that does to how likely I am to ask!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks for adding that extra context!

I definitely think the “hey, can I ask you for a favor because recovering from this surgery is driving me nuts…?” is the way to go.

Oftentimes people struggle to know how to help a friend when they’re in a vague kind of trouble like after a surgery.

For instance, I’m not sure how I would help one of my friends if they had a major surgery. Maybe I’d send them a door dash gift card?