this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2024
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I'll probably stick to asking for oat milk instead of "porridge water" or whatever the new mandated name will be. To be honest I do think calling it "milk" lets them inflate the price when it is essentially porridge water.

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[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It just needs a bit of snazzy marketing.

Just call it Ultragruel or Oatfuel and write "PROTEIN" on it in big letters.

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago

Actually, now I think about it, that only covers one section of the market.

You should also release exactly the same product with with different packaging a few times:

  • One with an off-brand Mr T character mascot, called "I Pity The Gruel".

  • One called "Bilk : Better than Milk".

That's a few shelves of supermarkets covered with selling the same thing. I'm sure you can cover some more with a few like "Barista Supreme: Oat-based Cream", "Oat Water", "Oat Juice" and simply "Oat-based Drink". Maybe even "Oat Blood", for Goths and "My dad was a gruelmaker" for Keir Starmer fans.