The Onion

4361 readers

1230 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

254

North Carolina Family Informed Their Insurance Policy Voided Once House Gets Wet (theonion.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

12 comments fedilink hide all child comments

“Unfortunately, the coverage you paid for doesn’t extend to any situation where there is water in, on, or around your home,” said Pat Treacy, a claims adjuster at Countrywide Mutual Insurance who informed the Colemans that their policy had actually been voided the moment they first filled their bathtub or ran water from their sinks. “It’s industry standard, I’m afraid. Houses just aren’t meant to get wet. No insurance company anywhere would take on that kind of liability. If it’s possible to prove the house remained dry during the storm, and it just sort of fell down on its own, then maybe a case could be made for approving your claim.” Treacy went on to wish the Coleman family well and said he would keep an eye out for them on GoFundMe.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s funny but I still have PTSD from working cat events and having to tell 100 people that homeowners’ insurance doesn’t cover flooding. Probably sounds like nothing to you but It’s emotionally exhausting and insurance policies have to be written so plenty of money is paid out showing that customers are getting value out of being insured, but not so much that the company goes bankrupt.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

insurance policies have to be written so plenty of money is paid out showing that customers are getting value out of being insured, but not so much that the company goes bankrupt.

A reminder that insurance is just profit driven socialism in a mask.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

It's more calculated betting, even if done at a government scale.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How is it socialism??

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It isn't at all, but apparently any form of price/cost distribution is indistinguishable from any democratically 'owned'/managed/controlled productive enterprise.

Using this logic, a giant conglomocorp that uses 10% of the profits from one line of business to internally subsidize an expanding line of business hoping to gain a monopoly there, is socialist.

Just throw on a subscription model where some users barely use the service and others use it maximally, if you need the analogy to be more accurate.

What would actually make an insurance company socialist is if it were a worker owned co-op, where all workers voted on large company policy changes, hell maybe even include the policy holders in those votes too!... or if the entire thing were a government agency in a faaaar more direct, transparent and accountable democracy than what exists in the US currently.