this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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AskReddit (lemmy.today)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Image description:

screenshot of r/AskReddit post by u/CriticalGeode . Title only. official phone app. Light mode.

How would you hide the body of a 165 Ib, 78 year-old white male who is approximately 6 feet tall?

Upvoted by screenshoter. No shown score.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (7 children)

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Second best monolog in that movie. The Desert Eagle vs Replica scene is still my favorite.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like the part when Brad Pitt says "aslkdjhgfaledkjfhgawserlfkjhawuigh?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

pwikenlebleuformmemem

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn, this guy crimes. I'm impressed.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

It’s from the movie Snatch. Banger of a classic!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Someone else posted the same comment 4 hours before.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I'm not sure how I didn't notice that but thanks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Do you know what "nemesis" means?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

"A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt; me."

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago

"Horrible star trek movie"?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I think getting teeth out of a dead body's skull would be more difficult and shittier than sifting through the pig shit afterwards.

Sixteen pigs? Farm animals are expensive and so are farms. I don't doubt pigs are a good way to dispose of a body but if you're that well off, surely there are even more foolproof methods available.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Someone has never seen Snatch, have they?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Nails...the pigs don't digest nails

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So you call yourself fuxk spez yet you kust copy/paste your comments from older comments in the same thread?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I copied and pasted my comment from IMDb and then discovered someone else had already posted it. If I was that lazy I wouldn't have bothered removing the other person's line breaks.