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Half centaur cyclist type here. Permanent? No. But some Wahl clippers with the smallest guard can make fast work of a whole body and razor routine once every ~2 weeks. I absolutely hate shaving my face because it causes major chaffing from the salts that dry into a helmet strap on the bike. I use the smallest guard on the Wahl's for facial hair and no blade for a constant short stubble. It works for me. Use women's or the Schick 5 blade razors that have the extra landing pad area around the blade and you'll knick yourself way less often. That's the best I've cone up with in the last two decades of removing the built in long johns.
This is my husband's face hair strategy as well. Clippers most of the time, shaving the edges occasionally. I don't like beards but got beat over the head with images of hot guys with stubble for long enough it just looks good to me now.
Your comment about the long johns made me laugh remembering my friend - he had very pale skin, very dark hair and such hairy legs, one time he shaved a racing stripe down the sides of his legs :)