this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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I work with a person that went presented with a problem, works through it and arrives at the wrong solution. When I have them show me the steps they took, it seems like they interpret things incorrectly. This isn't a language barrier, and it's not like they aren't reading what someone wrote.

For example, they are working on a product, and needed to wait until the intended recipients of the product were notified by an email that they were going to get it. the person that sent the email to the recipients then forwarded that notification email to this person and said "go ahead and send this to them."

Most people would understand that they are being asked to send the product out. It's a regular process for them.

So he resent the email. He also sent the product, but I'm having a hard time understanding why he thought he was supposed to re-send the email.

I've tried breaking tasks down into smaller steps, writing out the tasks, post-mortem discussion when something doesn't go as planned. What other training or management tasks can I take? Or have I arrived at the "herding kittens" meme?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Sounds like the instructions were unclear so the person implemented all possible interpretations in order to avoid any misinterpretation causing problems. If they were forwarded an email and told to send "this" to someone, I can easily see that being interpreted as the email itself. Especially if this wasn't the first time your instructions were unclear and they got in trouble for not guessing the right interpretation. Being more clear and saying "the product" instead of just "this" might help or even saying the name of the product. Good communication is about being precise, but brief.

If people are always having to guess your intentions, then some are going to get it right and some won't. Some will learn how you think and how to interpret your vague instructions and some won't. But if you learn better communication skills to be more direct in your instructions and leave fewer things open to interpretation, then there won't be any need for people to guess your intentions. Remember, no one else has the information in your head, only the information in your communication.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

As an autistic person, I will say that the word “this” is one of my biggest stumbling blocks in communication.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I agree, but here is some more info:

Employee seems to misunderstand requests from most people and published documentation at a rate much higher than others.

Employee has had years to figure out how people communicate with them.

In this case I wasn’t the one that worded the request poorly, it was someone else. I have adapted to using lists when making requests, and avoiding vague statements, but I can’t expect everyone to adapt to this person and I can’t be there to translate everything for them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Employee has had years to figure out how people communicate with them.

Maybe your employee does have more difficulty understanding than the average person, but this is such a bullshit excuse.

Everyone communicates differently. What is obvious to someone may not be obvious to others. Some people need a little more precision in the instructions you give to them. I don't see why it would be unreasonable to provide that.


I'm reminded of an interaction with my supervisor the other day...

Me: Hello. This case has . Am I ok to proceed with or does it need to be corrected first?

Supervisor: Have figure it out.

has literally thousands of employees so I have no idea why she said it like that.

Me: Uhh...do you want me to ask ?

Supervisor: No, have them figure it out.

Me: Who is them?

Supervisor: .

For context, usually asks us if they are ok to proceed, not the other way around.

Me: I don't think they will know the answer. Who should I have them ask?

Supervisor:

Me: ?????

Supervisor: Have them ask

Me: Ok.

In this whole interaction, she was getting increasingly rude and irate with me for not being able to read her mind. If she would have just said she wanted to figure it out, she could have just told me to begin with instead of getting huffy and curt with me and unnecessarily prolonging the interaction.


Here's another example...

Supervisor: Hey, do you want me to move X out of the way somewhere?

Me: Nah, I don't mind it being there!

Supervisor: I don't want X there.

Me: , I am not a mind reader. If you want something, you have to tell me.

Sometimes what is obvious in your brain is not obvious to those around you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I don’t think your supervisor is mis-communicating, I think they just don’t know what they want. But they want you to still choose correctly even though there is no correct answer. It’s like when my husband asks what I want for dinner and I tell him “I don’t know, you pick”, there’s definitely a right and wrong answer for his decision but I don’t know it until he chooses it! Yes I know how messed up that is. Anywho, god speed to you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is that employee autistic? One of the things that management requires is learning to communicate with all types of people and help others communicate. After all, your job isn't producing something, it's making sure your employees that do the actual work are able to do their job effectively.

I'm just using autism as an example because I happen to be on the spectrum, though I've learned to mask well over the years. Autism has tons of advantages in the way we think. Great at analysis, great at handling emergencies, etc., but our communication style is a little different. We tend to need communication to be direct and precise because we analyze things too much sometimes. Problem is that because we're so used to being misunderstood or misunderstanding people and getting into trouble for it and being scolded for asking clarifying questions because we "should just know what they meant", that we often don't ask the questions and try to interpret things in all the possible ways.

And maybe it's not even at this job that they were scolded, they just are used to neurotypical people scolding them for the way they think, that they no longer even try to ask questions. So my advice is to make sure the person is not only able to ask questions, but is encouraged to do so if they need to. Make sure to be very positive when they do and make sure the other people they interact with are positive as well. It's a very small accommodation that could help them thrive and end up being one of your best employees if given the right atmosphere.

Again, I'm using autism as an example because it's a commonly misunderstood condition that is not a disease and not curable, nor should anyone try to cure it, it is just a different way of thinking and is a spectrum of various types of ways of thinking that people are often forced to mask and so is commonly undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Heck, I didn't figure it out until a few years ago and I'm in my mid-40s. But it took me decades to learn to effectively communicate without knowing why some people just couldn't get me. Even now I tend to over-communicate as you can see from this wall of text.

But as a manager you should try to get to know your employees' strengths and weaknesses, communication styles, etc., and help them to communicate more effectively with each other. It has helped me to be effective at coordinating people.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (2 children)

If they are it’s not something that’s been told to me.

I’m very aware that people have different skills and limitations and adjust accordingly. I have done a lot, including helping organize tasks, reviewing issues when they come up, setting goals, positive reinforcement, asking how they want me to change to help them further, suggesting learning opportunities, suggesting social interaction opportunities…

Let’s not assume I came to post this without first trying different techniques, researching topics on how to manage people like this, and reaching out to management peers for possible solutions. I’ve had a few upper management people that knew this person tell me “some people just don’t get it” and “they have possibly hit their peak”

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I’m very aware that people have different skills and limitations and adjust accordingly. I have done a lot, including helping organize tasks, reviewing issues when they come up, setting goals, positive reinforcement, asking how they want me to change to help them further, suggesting learning opportunities, suggesting social interaction opportunities…

One thing you have not mentioned trying is encouraging others in the organization to replace the words “this” and “that” with the actual referent in their communications.

For example the email that said “send this to them”, could say “send the product to them”.

Disambiguating the words “this” and “that” in communication seem like a much more direct path to avoiding this problem than the steps you described.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago

Thanks, I will do that. Keep in mind that I presented a single situation. It also applies to things like following documentation steps, and coming up with steps on their own to reach a defined goal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ok, I was just assuming you were looking for advice, but if it's just a vent post, that's my bad.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago

I probably should have included that these were all great responses; just that I’ve tried them.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago

Your employee is autistic, and suffers from low working memory.

Increasing the employee’s working memory through targeted working memory training will help with this.

Unfortunately, you probably cannot order them to do this training, or even mention the deficit while staying within HR rules.