The Onion

4492 readers

403 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

756

Jerky, 7-Fingered Scarlett Johansson Appears In Video To Express Full-Fledged Approval Of OpenAI (www.theonion.com)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would love to see someone actually make the video this describes.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Considering that her husband's on SNL, ot could happen.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

who is her husband?

Actually... I am kinda proud I don't know who it is so maybe forget I asked.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Colin Jost, of weekend update

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Lucky bastard! But dude is funny and seems like an ok dude so that's great for them both.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Lucky guy for sure

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Michael Che

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Damn, good for Michael Che. He's not ugly or anything. He's handsome enough. But he batted way out of his league.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

😈🧌

I’m trolling. It’s the other one.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

James Austin Johnson? 😛

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago (4 children)

am i the only one who doesn't find most hollywood women particularly appealing? like yeah scarlet isn't ugly or anything, but she looks a bit weird and stiff and i get the distinct impression that everyone says these women are attractive just because they have smooth skin and look rich..

like, a lot of the women i see just randomly on the street irl are WAY more attractive than those in hollywood

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I don't know if you're the only one, but I cannot make the claim that Scarlett Johannson is anything but stunningly beautiful in my perception.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

i too am gay

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

a no makeup pic was leaked 10 years ago or so and she got furious and tried to sue, and she looked awful in it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I don't think she is anymore attractive than most other Hollywood stars. My favorite roll of her's is from Ghost World. I've only seen a handful of her movies. But she's that busty blonde that is a favorite type for many. Personally I'm more partial to Zoey Daschanel. I have watched most of her movies and definitely don't really like her but she's very pretty and I enjoy watching her. I have never watched the tv show she's in. I like M Ward but I don't like their collaboration. 🤷‍♂️

People like the fantasy that Hollywood types provide. Something it's just that and Scarlet ticks the boxes.