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Daughters and Fathers (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

50 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter.

What did your father do for you/not do for you, that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won't bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I'm the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I'd like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from the heart and not the head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven't been getting enough sleep! It is what it is!

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So I tried to share the contents of a The Atlantic article that's incredibly relevant, and as someone who has spent 30 years working for a center for neglected children, it hit real close to home. Unfortunately, the article was too long to post, and I don't know how to bypass the paywall. Maybe someone here can?

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

The bottom line is that we need to be present for our kids. If we're staring at our black mirrors and not emotionally engaging with them they're going to feel devalued.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

https://archive.is/20231219190255/https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

Here ya go.