this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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Polyamory

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Curious question (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

So I’m real confused at why people hate big polyamorous relationships? Like it confuses me because isn’t the basis of being poly. Loving others and loving multiple people. Giving dedication to multiple people? Which it never specified on what type of group or how big of a group. So where does the hate of big polys come from?

If anyone can explain this please. Since this is not the first time I’ve got hate for my poly. Which actually normally I ether instantly get banned from places for asking questions or I get like 100s of downvotes. Though everyone just keeps their mouths shut and I’ve never really asked before but it just doesn’t make sense. Why is adding people to a poly to protect and love them. To give them the best life possible. With no abuse and no manipulation. To give others the happiness it’s hard for me to feel. A bad thing like why does the size of the poly or how we’re together make any difference. It’s just love isn’t it? Also it’s completely legal? So where is the issue.

Now I’ve heard some people jokingly call it a sex cult but I don’t believe it’d logically be that. Also for me it has nothing to do with the number of people, their sexualities, gender. All that matters to me is their personality and how I can help them grow into who they want to become. Which this probably gonna sound cheesy but it’s like watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly. The beauty that comes from their happiness when they succeed or become who they want to be is my favourite part. Below is the definition of Polyamory and it never specifies anything about size or how it works unless it’s consensual and morally correct. So if this is a stereotype why don’t we burn that shit and just love!

Which I thought to add people can have different size polys or work differently yk and if you take my approach you’ll know when you get enough people or some can just give infinite love out.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

To me it sounds like you're making it up. Forty-nine partners is more than a believable amount; I don't even care if it is true. You sound like a kid bragging online for the first time, and it's hard to take you seriously.

If you are telling the truth and wanted to be taken more seriously, I would start with being more vague about the numbers. No one needs to know about all forty-nine.

But that's just me. I can't speak for anyone else. Also, I have you tagged in my App as "49 Wives" and every time you I chuckle a little.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I mean I am young and rather bad at communication overall so that doesn’t surprise me. Though honestly I’m more trying to challenge social norms and make awareness that people can just love. lol there’s 23 men and 26 ladies actually 😅

Also I’m very factual and detailed because I’m autistic and traumatized 🤣🤣

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Also I’m very factual and detailed because I’m autistic and traumatized

I kinda figured. That's why I answered instead of ignoring you. But it also does add to the sex cult thing. That is just way too many partners for the average person to keep up with. At least 8x the amount I'm comfortable with.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

20x for me. And yeah...no way this person isn't having a giggle.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago

What do you mean having a giggle?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago

See that’s understandable, maybe most people won’t be able to do it. Though I will say it’s a bit simpler and easier than some believe. For example most of the time we’re just at home doing small things or pairs go out sometime. Then some are always busy and independent. Which yes I miss them but they’re achieving their dreams. Then otherwise easiest way to communicate is through journals.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago

Suggestion for everyone to remove expectations besides no abuse and whatever type of faithful your relationship requires. Then flow whichever way the wind blows. It’s the understanding we will never do anything perfect and we all make mistakes. Though as long as we try and grow and learn from those mistakes that’s what matters most. Love is not a straight path and so expect the unexpected.