this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2024
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Science Memes

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Can I Put it in my Ass? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'd love to see the reasoning for each element. Most of them are obvious but I'm curious about some of them.

Are all the gasses dangerous because they'd have to be frozen to a solid? You could use them to pressurize a dildo-shaped envelope, though.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

That's great! because a surprising amount of research was done (way more than anticipated). You will learn some crazy things by studying this. All elements are in solid form at STP so for the gasses that's in the range of -200 C. Someone suggested doing a version with liquid and gas enemas but you know? I'm just not that dedicated (yet)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My first thought was "why is nitrogen dangerous?" but I was thinking about it at room temperature or around 20C.

I know about decompression sickness (the bends) but I wouldn't expect that to be a problem at 1 atmosphere. Then I stumbled upon isobaric counterdiffusion and I wondered if that could happen from pumping any pure gas into the rectum at atmospheric pressure, since it'd be at a higher partial pressure than any gas in the tissue.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah I think gasses in the rectum have several severe issues that liquids don't have. Mostly because liquids don't exert pressure. Could get pretty in-depth.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Going in deep, you say

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

How, uh dedicated are you?

It’s for science, so someone has to do it,

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why not iodine?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I was informed by someone that elemental iodine is actually toxic when not in salt form. Could be true/false?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Here's some interesting ones that I don't think anyone's asked yet so far

The two CIA ones? Only elements with an unenriched isotope that can reach critical mass (and don't instantly disappear). You'd need only a few dildos to make a nuclear bomb. The anal probe and CIA disappearing is literal.

Borat is in this diagram

Starting with Potassium the Alkalis become basically explosive to water and get progressively more reactive. If you haven't covered it yet this is because their valence shells get weaker the heavier you go.

Hydrogen and Helium so far basically cannot exist in solid form at STP in any appreciable amount.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

IMO, I'd count plutonium in the anal probe category. Enriched or not, it's gonna raise tons of red flags.

Buying that much uranium would probably just get your house raided by the FBI. If you told them what you were planning on doing with it, they might find it funny enough not to indict you but they probably wouldn't let you keep it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

You goin to Guantanamo but almost certainly alive. If you knew how to make quantities of Curium and Calorfinium though.. yeah you're dead or not coming out of a cardboard box.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

calcium, strontium and barium are also pretty reactive with water, and at any rate beyond hydrogen the other product (metal hydroxide) is corrosive