traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns
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It does. A lot. So many of your thoughts parallel my own perfectly, so it's nice to see it expressed.
I really wish we could just shapeshift.
One major issue for me is I really can't imagine myself as an old woman. I want to be a bearded old dude, so I don't want to get rid of my beard or detransition and have testosterone issues in my old age. Maybe it's just deep brainworms acting up considering how women are treated like garbage the more they age while men are treated like a fine wine idk. Maybe if I take your route, I'll figure out what I actually want. Maybe it wouldn't actually bother me.
But RIGHT NOW, the push to feminize is quite strong. I've still got like 3 decades before I'd consider myself an old man. Do I just take half measures and repress during that time? I don't know.