this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (5 children)

This week I am practicing waving at people and saying hello, instead of nodding at people and saying hello, as a form of greeting at work. I am told nodding is a Dude Gesture, which must be a Command & Conquer reference else it's completely illogical.

What other secretly gendered gestures and shit do I still have after so long? Honestly this whole "gender" thing seems kinda fuckin stupid sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

i spend a lot of time analyzing cis women's gender expression to figure out new cues i hadn't considered. i literally just stopped doing the nod like a year ago after transitioning for half a decade now

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm only stopping after nine years :) I have too much autism to do analysis lol, to neurotypicals I probably read like some kind of genderfreak, which tbh is sort of rad. Random people at my bluecollar job will use "they" for me totally unprompted.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

people would they/them me a whole bunch when i first integrated into this new group. i think cis people would rather short circuit than ask someone what they prefer

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

To be completely fair, I once had a guy in an elevator ask me "hey so are you a guy or a girl?" and I was so floored I couldn't even be snarky. Cis people SUCK at asking, lol.

I refuse to correct them until they get their shit together, Idk. They can wonder and be confused, fuck em. My gender is Fear Incarnate!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

one time i had spent 2 hours in front of a guy explicitly talking about my gender and he still came up afterwards and asked the same question. i had the same reaction you did, fuck them. read the fucking manual

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I wave and nod. Proof that I'm bigender

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Woah... if someone does both, now I know...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

WHAT no idea this was a thing I nod at everyone.

Why do social conventions have to be so confusing, literally have to study people to interact in "appropriate" ways smh

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I fuckin know right, I only found out recently. I just interact "inappropriately" all the dang time, cause fuck em =)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ladies, is it masculine to rapidly move your head in a vertical range of motion, signifying affirmation and recognition of others?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I've been trying to force myself to stop the nod and failing. I really need to stop meeting people's eyes while i'm walking.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Actually I realised today too, one of the reasons I'm such a Nodder is that it's a good excuse to look away from someone very fast

Whereas if I wave at someone and say hello, uh where do my eyes go shit uhhh

oh-shit

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

100 percent the reason I do it, gives me a way to smoothly break eye contact

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Nodding feels more respectful while waving feels more celebratory, idk why it should be gendered

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

This is true! It should not be, but the intersection of "traditional gender" norms and neurotypical social norms is an evil one!