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Netflix's Three Body Problem is Unwatchable (hexbear.net)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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It's like someone asked ChatGPT to turn the book into a dumb anglo sitcom.

-Every character is emotionally immature, spiteful, and sassy. None of the 'friends' act like friends. None of the characters talk like real people. They're constantly insulting or hitting each other. It's just embarrassing. The actors have nothing to work with.

-All the major twists/reveals are shown in the first two episodes. No suspense, no build-up, no pay-off. Rushed is an understatement.

-Single characters from the book have been unnecessarily split into multiple new characters adding nothing to the story.

-The story is a cosmic horror but comedy and romance have been forced in for no reason whatsoever except as filler, which is even more mind-boggling because they've essentially rushed all of the good stuff in the book to make room for unfunny jokes.

-Apparently they could barely afford any sets and extras, so scenes and locations that are supposed to be bristling with sights and people just feel oddly empty. Even the special effects feel muted. The budget is just weirdly limited, and the show looks much cheaper than the Tencent series.

-Almost all of the science (which is the interesting stuff) has been gutted from this science fiction.

I hate anglo slop. Where is the kino. Tencent pls adapt The Dark Forest.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Dark Forest mostly drastically misunderstands how big space is, how stealth in space can and cannot work, how probability works, how rare life is,

Thats a good point, I assumed people came up with it by drawing four squares with labels and then bringing in MatPat to do his game theory magic on it. But then if the assumptions are fundamentally bankrupt then the conclusion will be garbage too lmao

spoiler

Like I remember that in the story, the ayyys exterminatus each other by shooting small projectiles at lightspeed that somehow magically can't be tracked by anyone to find their origin and/or by hiding in little pocket dimensions and shooting things that collapse spacetime into lesser dimensions, turning people into anime IRL. Its still correct that it would be impossible for a civilization to pull shit like that off without getting noticed in turn, assuming the ayyys who shoot the small projectiles are lesser than the pocket-dimension ayyys in terms of technology.

So ig at the end of the day its just a theory, a game theory.

and makes a whole bunch of silly assumptions not least of which is that it's worth anyone's time to pretend that there are magic people in the sky who will punish us for being naughty.

And thus, the 69th iteration of Christianity was invented, this time, for the anprims. May we never leave the comfort of the caves.