this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sorry I shouldn’t have assumed you didn’t experience all this too. It’s completely valid you’re uncomfortable with what them bringing it up too, and I want you to know I wasn’t trying to take away from that either.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

No big, I didn't love the implication that being acespec excludes me from experiencing transmisogyny and such, but I guess I can see how the comment would look weird offhand.

meow-hug

Also, if I look at what goodreads commie lady has read in terms of trans fic, (Manhunt, Tell Me i'm Worthless) there's not a lot in terms of super positive sex for transfem protags, so that probably contributes to her uh boundless enthusiasm lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to imply that at all, I did wrongly assume that if you’re ace you might not feel like your sexuality is inherently at odds with your gender. But honestly thinking about it, people expect women to be heterosexual in general and that implies expecting them to be allo, so you probably experience the same things but worse. Though honestly part of me is… jealous even though I know that’s problematic. Because I feel like having a strong attraction to other people makes me really gross. Especially because I’m attracted to other women, because when people sexualize men it’s seen as funny but when they sexualize women it’s perverted and predatory

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Fwiw, it doesn't tend to affect me as much when some weirdo crawls out of the woodwork to call me a "sexual d*gen" or whatever, although I'm way too radicalised to let that stuff impact me so lol.

Mostly though yeah, people would see me say that I'm a lesbian, and the "asexual" label just becomes invisible to them, they assume I'm a sexual deviant and a weird freak. Which I am but not the way they think!

I do, every now and then, still feel a little weird acknowledging that a cis woman is pretty, Idk if that's leftover brainworms or just cause I'm married. Of course, there's literally nothing wrong with you having really strong sexual attraction to women! Cis women are horny all the time too! Women-loving-women is awesome. You are not gross! It's shit how people, even cis queer people, demonise and stigmatise trans women's sexualities. We are allowed to fuck cat-trans and anyone else who says otherwise can eat shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I’m sorry for letting my own brainworms delegitimize your own experiences. It makes sense that transphobes aren’t really going to differentiate between someone being ace or not for how they treat them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

No worries you're good meow-hug