I love this! I feel this too.

I'm 41, so a lot of my age-peers are running up against the cumulative effect of decades of neglecting their bodies and starting to curse the aging process, but I'm secretly kinda loving it. I made a conscious choice to be more active in my 30s, and now I'm in the best shape of my life.

I have much less energy and so many fewer fucks to give, and this means I've had to learn to be strategic and learn when to cut out things - including relationships - that aren't edifying.

I'm a traditionally cute petite cis woman, and I had fantasized my whole life about shaving my blonde curls off and freeing myself from those golden chains, so I finally buzzed it this spring, and it looks great. And I am in stealth mode all the time now!! Nobody ever recognizes me until they see me with my husband, it's hilarious and awesome every time.

I know myself and my own capabilities better, so I am better about not getting myself in over my head, and I'm more able to ignore skeptics and naysayers. Most of the time, I no longer feel the need to be overly polite and accommodating to their desire to give me unsolicited advice, which is awesome.

I am having a tremendous amount of fun getting old, and I think you will too! I love your attitude. ✊

It sounds like you've never had the experience of being the woman used as a lesson, and I'm really glad for you. I'm sorry you think my lived experience is weird! Blessed be.

This is kinda my take, too; after reading OP's post, I was left wondering how much time they spend on here and what they're doing outside it.

I know everyone's ability and opportunity to be engaged with the world is different, so I hope this doesn't come off as a "touch grass" kinda thing, that's not how I mean it at all. For people with difficulties communicating or mobility issues, sometimes being online is the best way to engage with the world, and I totally get that. However, I think it's unwise to put all of our social eggs in one basket; we need multiple platforms for communicating and outlets for expression and connection. What ways are you connecting with people outside Lemmy?

When I'm feeling sad and disconnected, I like to work against it by sowing the kindness and understanding I would like to be reaping. This is pretty common advice - it's not unusual for someone going through a rough patch to be told to try volunteering for something they care about - and for me, it is almost always Super Effective.

So, maybe posting on a social media board could be fulfilling, if gone into with the attitude of finding a way to contribute instead of trying to find what is needed.

Idk, maybe that doesn't make sense, I'm not fully caffeinated yet and out of medication and I know I'm not totally with it. But hopefully I'm getting the gist across: posting/commenting would ideally not be your primary (or only) way of connecting with others, posting is usually not satisfying, but empathetic/meaningful commenting can be, and if there's not already a meaningful reply to something, try making one and see how it feels. It might feel better than you expected to be that first meaningful comment even if nobody ever replies; sometimes heartfelt expression can be its own reward.

Maybe push him to try and become friends with a female coworker.

Please ask her before you use her to teach a lesson.

You're passing in my household! I wouldn't have guessed you were trans from this picture. My husband walked into the room to ask me something as I was about to comment, and I stopped him, told him I was going to ask an obvious question but just play along, showed him your picture, and asked him to guesstimate your age and gender with no other information; he guessed woman in her mid-20s.

You have a beautiful face! Big, sad eyes, delicate brow and chin, and truly perfect lips (seriously - size, shape, everything about them is gorgeous). I really like your nose too, I'm super into strong noses on women and men and have told my husband and his sister - who hate their prominent noses - that the only thing I'd change about them would be to make them bigger. 😂🥰 Yours matches the proportions on the rest of your face perfectly.

You're genuinely beautiful. I'm really sorry you're not feeling that way right now, but hopefully we can nudge you back to reality. ❤️

I would be delighted to wear a Beehaw shirt out and about, and I'd love a Beehaw sticker for my laptop. I am happy to contribute labor to making these things happen - please let me know if I can assist in any way. My design skills are mediocre, but I am capable of taking an existing thing and turning it into a format that works for various applications, and I'm familiar with setting up basic online storefronts for print-on-demand etc.

Agree with everything in this comment, especially

makes this feel more like an actual community or a co-op.

🥰 TOTALLY, and it makes me feel very good about my recurring donation - the people running the server care, I care, pretty much everybody interacting here really, truly cares about the community, I genuinely love supporting that. This is a beautiful place on the internet.

Maybe there could be a community on Beehaw where people could post about their bots and associated commands, so we could learn how they could be called into threads where they would be helpful?

and being even mildly educated is a problem for our dipshit ideology

For real though. I went to church multiple times a week from around age 8 until my late teens, I went to the private Christian school run by our church from grades 8 through 11, I was thoroughly indoctrinated - but it all started falling apart in my early teens, when the pastor told me that animals don't have souls. How can you have pets and love them and not be absolutely certain that they have souls?!? And if he's wrong about something so obvious and basic, what else is he wrong about??

Turns out - everything 😂

It really doesn't take much education or life experience to start questioning it all.

Me right now:

What a lovingly written, beautiful obituary. If you're reading this and didn't click through yet, some highlights to help nudge you:

Kevin David Mitnick, 59, died peacefully on Sunday, July 16, 2023, after valiantly battling pancreatic cancer for more than a year. Kevin is survived by his beloved wife, Kimberley Mitnick, who remained by his side throughout their 14-month ordeal. Kimberley is pregnant with their first child. Kevin was ecstatic about this new chapter in his and Kimberley's life together, which has now been sadly cut short.

...

Kevin attracted attention and support from unlikely sources. The bus driver who saw young Kevin memorize the bus schedules, punch cards and punch tool systems so he could ride the buses all day for free testified as a character witness for Kevin during his federal trial. The federal prosecutor offered his testimony that Kevin never tried to take one dime from any of his “victims.” The probation officer assigned to monitor Kevin after prison gave Kevin permission to write his first book on a laptop when he was not yet supposed to have access to computers. Shawn Nunley, the star witness in the FBI's case against Kevin, became so disillusioned with the government's treatment of Kevin that he contacted Kevin's defense team, helped garner Kevin's release, and became one of Kevin's dearest friends. Kevin had an irresistible way of converting foes to friends and keeping them as friends forever.

...

Kevin was a gentleman: well-mannered and respectful, astoundingly generous with those he loved. He had a unique and unforgettable laugh - a delightful, loud, booming one - which he unleashed unexpectedly and often, frequently accompanied by a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He saw the funny side of his compulsive perfectionism and work ethic, and enjoyed laughing at his own expense - a rare quality among the best of us.

...

He had so much living left to do. And we know, with broken hearts, that there will never ever be anyone like him again. We will miss him for the rest of our days, hear his voice in our minds, and look forward to reconnecting with him in whatever version of the 'beyond' we each believe in. To imagine that Kev could be there to greet us, likely playing a prank, or inviting us to share an extraordinary meal and conversation, will be heaven indeed. We are each so deeply grateful for the time we had with this truly great man.

We celebrate that a part of Kevin will live on with the upcoming birth of his and Kimberley’s child. We can only hope that the child knows, as he or she grows, that around the world, the many friends of his father will be holding them in their hearts.

I can't imagine the loss and devastation his pregnant widow feels, but I'm so glad that she and their child will be surrounded by so many people who dearly loved him.

Kevin had an irresistible way of converting foes to friends and keeping them as friends forever.

Truly - what a loss to the entirety of humanity. What a gem of a human.

That was my answer for why I wanted to join, too! And I answered the "what will you contribute?" one pretty simply too, with the same things I try to bring to any conversation: my knowledge and empathy wherever they can be helpful.

I took the questions as the same kind of very basic filtering that my husband does for his tractor enthusiast Facebook group; he's not looking for essays, he just wants to know people will actually read (and follow!) the rules and not be jerks.