afox
Had one for the first time since I was like... 14? I'm 41. Drank it down. Started great. I've never felt so sick after something. Apparently I'm too old for this. I miss being a kid.
You know what's up
I was visiting Ukraine for work for about a month. Me and my coworker found ourselves at a country bar... Bit weird. We were wasted. Dudes have ar 15s out front as bouncers. Too many drinks led to a five alarm fire in my bowels. The weird fish early on didn't help I'm sure. Found a stall just in time. Unload. No toilet paper. I wiped with the local currency. I'm so ashamed to this day. This was around 2019. I'm a shit american.
I'm puting a hot poker in each of my eyes. Jesus.
We Bear Bears 🎶🎵
Shit. That's a big oops. Been a very long day.
Holding out for the Anne Frank Trapper Keeper phone.
Unholy Confessions In My Ass
Monday morning at a software company dude walks into the bathroom smelling like stale tequila. Sits on the toilet next to my stall. Grunts, moans, says exactly this. Proceeds to have explosive diarrhea and pukes on his shoes. It was 7am. What a start to the week. He just powered through. Ran his shoes under the sink and simply went to work. Something tells me this wasn't his first rodeo.
I was in a punk band when I was younger. We were mid set in a shitty bar. My amp started to spaz out. Like cutting in and out every few min. This old dude jumped on stage and kicked it really hard. Patted me on the back, handed me a shot, and jumped down (all mid song). Never had a problem with that amp again. Used it for years after. Old punk rocker magic. Nothing to laugh at.r