Could have been ripped from the Onion, it was rather surreal.

I'm a 30 year old man who is crushing on a 37 year old woman. She's amazing but I fear she sees me as too young :(

I'll never own a house, be able to buy a brand new car, and probably won't find a girlfriend unless I manage to improve my living situation. Just kinda destined to roam around as my quality of life diminishes until I fall apart. Ah well, at least weed is legal here.