Looks like the rainy days (weeks?) are over, at least here in the Waikato.

We've had the landscaper and builder come over to do our garden. Lots of planting, weeding and eating still to be done. Going to invest in some 'beautiful' concrete containers to grow my second round of potatoes in, because my mum won't allow me to grow them in 'ugly' plastic barrels. I suppose she does have a point - considering how ugly the modern world has become, in our pursuit of efficiency and economics. If only she took the same militant stance against car-centric cities, and modern architecture.. then maybe we would finally agree on something.

We've met so many of our neighbours, and their friends, after my stepdad passed away. Going to start vlogging and documenting my homesteading/urban farming progress on YouTube - and then later this year also getting started with my fibreglass boat-building journey.

Woke up at 7am with barely any rest, due to nightmares about being in hospital and having a heart attack.

"I should drink caffeine again. None of this decaf crap is doing me any good!" I thought to myself. So I went to the cupboard, and made myself a strong coffee to break my sobriety with. Next thing I know, far from keeping me awake and alert - I fell asleep so deeply - that I woke up at 11:45am all disoriented, seeing fractals and visuals.

Needless to say, I have Health Anxiety. It's really just a fear of death, at the end of the day. I know that therapy and medication won't help me, as it'll just cause me to become obsessed with medication side-effects. The only thing that will help me is to accept death, and live every single day as if it were my last. Chase after my goals and aspirations like a ram-raider. Hurry up and live my life, and live it Fast - because my mind is still drenched in fear, excuses and procrastination. I've got 1 year worth of food, and technically 30 years worth of my prescription meds. I could survive a nuclear war, if I needed to. So cost of living is no excuse, either. (I might need a new passport, though...)

Gave my speech at my stepdad's funeral today - and then we got invited by his brother to the Zealong Tea Estate, back in Hamilton.

They had these newspaper cutouts on the wall showing all the celebrities who had visited the place before - including John Key, King Charles, Chinese president Xi Jinping, and many others.

I think I did a good job passing myself off as an upper class individual. Had to wear my mum's clothes, because all I really have is a hoodie, and some sweatpants. The tea was awesome. Stretched that expensive little tea bag as much as I could, by pouring myself up to 4 cups.

We came back to Otorohanga, looking for a pub. Tried the local Working Man's Club - but unfortunately, you couldn't order anything without being a member. There was not a single young face to be seen. Thirsty Weta tends to have slightly more young people, but they usually come with their parents for dinner and special occasions. The Loneliness seems to haunt me everywhere I go.. but it doesn't really bother me anymore. Every generation has its own wars, famines and struggles. Mine just happens to be a spiritual famine, and that's ok. I'll be a'ight

Rough day today. Stepdad has just passed away, early this morning.

Just as my life was at a crossroad - I now have to re-write some of my plans all over again, in order to help my mum cope with the loneliness.

Time to look into becoming a foster parent. Being granted the living space and the opportunity to teach children to be stronger, healthier, less selfish and less materialistic - would be the only light at the end of this tunnel - especially in the light of rising mortgages, costs of living and global temperature.

My carefree days are over. Today I'm an adult - tomorrow I'll be a parent, a leader, and then hopefully one day - a politician. No more junkfood, no more caffeine, no more energy drinks, certainly no more booze, and no more mindless scrolling. Bootcamp lifestyle.

Hot day today. Tuis screeching out in the garden, and my Kale has already bolted. Bummer - It's only the first half of spring... but I don't mind.

My stepdad has just been carried away by St. John's, after having a fall yesterday. He was too stubborn to go to the hospital at first. Spent the night keeping an eye on him in the living room, then went back to bed at 7am, just before the ambulance arrived. Awful as it sounds, this means that my mum is finally allowed some time off work, and we can watch movies together.

Now that I see it - life is really short, and really dangerous. I've thought about testing my boat hulls out by the local Waipa river, and sailing them all the way to Port Waikato, to save money on hauling expenses. Or hooking it up to an autonomous navigation system, and controlling it using 4G or 5G mobile internet. No more excuses this time - you only live once!

I love the sound of tuis on a hot spring morning

Gonna go pick up some timber from Mitre10 on my e-bike. Might as well...

Been having a few sleepless nights, thinking about how I'm going to moor my sailboat, if I'm going to be declined my application for a mooring, or whether or not I'll even be allowed to rent one to begin with.

In a worst case scenario - I might have to sell all of my belongings, put the money in Bitcoin, and move to a third world country. This should at least put my mind to rest. It's one thing if I'll never own a house - but if I can't even build my own boat, then that'll be the last straw. I refuse to live in a country where the only 'freedom' you have is coming back home from work, scrolling social media, and watching Netflix - and everything else is either too expensive, or too illegal.

Slow day today. More rain and rain and rain...

I've drawn up a battle-plan for my sailboat build. There's a company called WiseMove that could haul a 4-5m boat for me for around $500 (under 200kg). Each 5.5m hull will be joined to another near-identical hull, with bolts going from below the waterline, to the very top of the U frame, in order to create a modular 34ft multihull (4x modules). An inner water barrier keeps the hulls from flooding at the seams.

There's moorings for rent in Whangamata ($40pw), and bus services that could take me from there to Auckland (Go-Kiwi), then back to Otorohanga. I could build the entire vessel for less than $5,000-$7,000. It's really the high-tech stuff that makes yachts expensive. (e.g. 1x sheet-winch = $500, 2x halyard jammers = $500, 1x Outboard engine = $2500-$4000). Construction and photos should start by Friday when my timber arrives. Let's democratize yachting!

Beautiful morning today. Massive overnight improvement in mood.

I've been doing a lot of research on sailboat and yachting regulations. It turns out that you [are] allowed to leave NZ territorial waters and sail wherever you want, as long as you don't enter the waters of another country (unless you have Cat 1 safety certificate & clearance).

I can go ahead and order my timber from Mitre 10 now. Hurry up and build that catamaran before they make it illegal. I've lived in far too many rat-infested caravans and boarding houses to believe that these w_____s care about my health and safety.

Average price of a moldy, rat-infested house going from $1,000,000 to $5,000,000NZD.

Good for people who own property I guess, including my future self. But I want nothing to do with this corruption. Time to shop for other potential countries to be a citizen of.

Wait for the special votes. Back in 1999 - The Greens won 7 extra seats from special votes alone.

• A special voter

Not much today. Just had some noodles with freshly harvested kale, from my backyard - of which I now have a practically infinite supply. In addition to 1 mandarin tree, 1 lemon tree, 1 feijoa tree, 1 plum tree and 2 avocado trees (albeit small in size at the moment).

I'm going hard on the homesteading lifestyle, to the point where I could theoretically even produce my own prescription medications, if it came down to it. Simply reading about it brings me so much peace of mind. That, and slowly growing my TradeMe store.

Wouldn't call myself a prepper. More of an economic survivalist - because to me, we're already in the apocalypse. 😉