I appreciate and agree with most of your post, but I disagree that we are all so disconnected from each other's feelings. Perhaps it's a regional thing, but many of us have relatives, if not friends, who deeply disagree with our politics. We not only get exposed to the others' views through social interactions, but we also absorb any political media they have on in the background on holidays and other get-togethers. Some of us also want to understand what the other end of the spectrum is exposed to and seek out some content from these sources for a variety of different reasons.
I don't understand the mindset and thinking of people in my life that are so far on the other side when it comes to these issues, but I don't write them off or feel disgusted by them as people unless and until they start promoting hate speech in most cases.
I'm also not experiencing any delusions about inevitable outcomes on election day. I'm preparing for either reality, but I'm more actively preparing myself for the opposite outcome of what I'm hoping for. Lemmy does a great job of reminding me how possible this is in comment sections every day.
I'm doing what I can by helping and encouraging friends, coworkers, and my partner to vote. He even requested an absentee ballot after months of telling me he wasn't going to vote. I didn't push, and I don't consume most news media when we're together. He has just had a harder time ignoring the evidence of his eyes and ears lately.
Nothing is decided. If we care at all about not feeling the gut punch that was November 9th of 2016, if not worse, then we should do what we can to prevent that from happening again.
I sincerely feel sad for you that the concepts of a broad sense of empathy and deep connections with others who don't share half your DNA seem like such difficult mental exercises, and that you assume those who choose not to act against their values are somehow less moral or caring about society. I don't know who failed you, but it was certainly someone important.