I think for me it’s just I’ve done it so long, I’m semi successful, so my brain is like “why change? Look at what you’ve done if you change now, what if it all goes away?” And rationally I know that won’t happened but that’s that mid-west upbringing biting me in the ass.
I’m fortunate to have a lot of very supportive male friends and we all tell each other this as often as we can: you only fail if you stop trying. So long as you get up and attempt the work, you’re not failing, you’re learning. I’m hopeful I can keep that mindset and keep trying, and hope you can as well.
I’m very stubborn so I don’t quit things I start. I’ll keep trying - thank you for sharing your story with me and for your support. It means a ton.