Been with this guy for 3 years now, I have been making plans in my head for when we are able to move in together, while unfortunately we were in a long distance relationship we still had a lot in common and were able to enjoy our time online together playing videogames and watching movies with the occasional visit once every 4 months or so for a week.
Such a pretty relationship, I feel, like I'm enjoying his company throughout my days of studying and university. But anyways, he feels like he doesn't want to try to make our relationship workout anymore, so basically breaking up with me. I told him before I let him finish, that I'm gonna be a bit stubborn and still go ahead with my visit in 10 days to go talk to him in person to actually do this. He sighed, and said that he owes me that atleast. This is the 3rd time he's trying to break up with me, and last time he promised that he'd wait for me and that he won't break up with me again and that I'd be the one to do so. Just my trust in him is shattered after this.
I am just not sure which way to take this, try to continue with the visit and maybe still stay together or just decide not to go and cut him off from being friends. I'm not sure, part of me wants to still go and do agree we need to break up and just leave the relationship without a sour taste in the mouth, and maybe in the future be friends again.
Edit: Feeling better bout the break up now, I do know I'm not getting back together with them and probably not gonna talk to them for a very long time. I've reached out and made a new friend and I'll keep on trying to find new ones to help with the being lonely part. Looking forwards to it
Progress update, been going out with friends a bunch, every weekend, concert, movies n shiz. Invited friends to my house for a party n shiz and was fun, got laid with one of the friends I've been hanging out the most. It's chill tho it's kinda a bit of friends with benefits, but ahahaha they're like sooo much nicer and sweeter with hella more interests in common compared to my last ex. I wont end up dating them cuz I just wanna have friends but it makes me happy knowing that my standards could be way higher for next time.
I've been feeling hella more self motivated and awake, more than ever. Going from an online relationship to actually going out n shiz is like the best thing I've done. It's tragic how my last relationship ended but now I'm a bit more glad it happened. Still friends with them msg them ocassionally but I had taken a long break from them to reset my mindset.
I'm enjoying my friends, the one friend with benefits might end up to come back to bite me in the ass due to getting feelings but we're still being good friends and they already asked if I wanna hang out this weekend again ahahah. Life good atm, but will def get a therapist at some point.