this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I have incurable cancer (multiple myeloma), I’ll be surprised if I make it that far.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

I hope you are. Fuck that shit.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

How long since your diagnosis? I have a friend who made it decades using multiple transplants. I'm a cancer survivor myself. Rooting for you. Don't be afraid to be happy or goofy still :) You already lived your whole life before cancer getting one day closer to death each day anyway!

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most likely fighting in a civil war against Christofascists.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I was gonna say dead so it may as well be in the feels war of 2026

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Probably gonna get downvoted to hell by doomers, but you said filters off.

5 years from now I hope to be in my mid 30s, financially independent and traveling the world on a shoestring budget. I'm very close as it is. I've both been very lucky & worked very hard to set myself up for this, and I'm hoping that once I get there, I can reclaim some of the typical 20-something experiences I missed out on while I was grinding long hours at work.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

5 years from now I hope to be in my mid 30s

Good luck

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Ideally not in Florida anymore

Realistically, probably still in Florida

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

At the rate we're going either climate change and/or the GOP will have caused Florida to slide into the ocean so you got that to look forward to.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm originally from Jersey but I got out of Florida after living there for a good long time. Was not prepared for fire ants, yellow flies, red tide, being pursued by an alligator...

The heat, humidity, and stagnating seasons really got to me.. I desperately wanted it to feel like there were 4 seasons instead of 2, and I missed changing leaves and snow.

I still have most my family down there, but I had to escape...

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Would never be this dark or honest normally but

Alone and afraid. No friends. No family. No hope. Just existing and barely even doing that. Waking up everyday and wondering why I'm even bothering to do it. Looking for any excuse to distract myself from reality. Probably post random stuff online and look for more stuff to post. Try and entertain people so I don't feel as worthless to society as I kind of am. Hating myself, every single shred of who I am, but not having any drive to change it. Wanting to die but being too cowardly to do anything to make it happen. Just waiting for things to finally stop and be over and to have a shred of peace. To not hear that inner voice saying how I don't belong. To not hope for some horrific accident that not just kills me but makes me known to someone rather than forgotten.

Pretty sure about that. Mainly because it's where I am now.

Now time for me to sleep, wake up, try not to cry, and then post memes all over again.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to

Here is some other advice:

  • ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat

  • reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good "cold turkey" break would be a cruise or something.

  • obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm on a waitlist for professional help. That's not as easy to access as I'd like it to be, at least not here in the GTA. Religion I will be staying pretty clear from because honestly people using religion to hate me is one of the reasons I'm in this position in the first place. I've got no issue with religious folks, and plenty of religious friends, but I avoid the religion itself. Just not good memories in anyway as a gay dude with a sprinkling of autism who happens to be from a rural area.

As for the other advice:

  • I don't trust ChatGPT at all. There have been other instances of people using chatbots to try and help with mental health and it has recommended some terrifying options. One support line decided to replace their phone answering employees with a chatbot. That bot started recommending dieting to people with eating disorders. That's just the first example that comes off my mind.

  • If I could take a cruise, I would without a single hesitation. However I just had a vet bill for a cat that ended up being perfectly fine. That wiped out all of my savings and is going to mess up my budget for a couple months. Not to mention the fact that the amount of money I had saved took months and was a pitiful amount. I legitimately wouldn't have been able to go up the CN Tower and have a dinner at the restaurant, nevermind get a cruise. Social media is also my only connection to society in general. Social media isn't super healthy which is why I already limit myself pretty well. The only social media I'm active on is Lemmy and, to a lesser extent, Mastodon. In both I stick mostly in meme/funny communities and keep everything light. That or just focus on Star Trek. I only really drop into news communities once every day or two just to see what's going on there, I don't engage much.

  • I don't really want to go into it but I have a hard time trusting people physically.

Honestly it's fine. Been like this for years. I've tried a bunch of different things, talked to different people, tried different environments and it's none of those. It's me. I've just sort of accepted that I'm not going to be happy. That's fine. Not everyone gets to be.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for "what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness". It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who "is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours". Then pick the ones that you haven't tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.

Good luck!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh Stamets, your post made me so sad and then I saw your username and realised who you were and I just had to comment because you are literally my most favourite person on Lemmy.

The content you post on Risa is the sole reason I'm here. I love your trek memes and the awesome community they are generating over there. Please know you are making an impact.

I mainly lurk, but I feel like I know you just from reading your interactions and you are an amazing person. Please keep being you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I appreciate it 💙 It is indeed why I do what I do. Might as well inject some happiness into the world somehow.

Also, join into the comments more over on Risa! We're all pretty chill and if anyone gives you shit just summon me, Picard, Xusontha, NegativeNelly, WarmSoda, USSBurritoTruck or any of the other epicly awesome people who are over there.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really don't think I'm gonna make it that far, I don't even know if I still want to.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm surprised I've made it this far. The only reason I have is because of my dogs. I guess I'll just keep getting them to keep me here. As one approaches old age, I'll get another. Assuming the loss of the old one doesn't do it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, lost my little four legged soul mate last year. I wish I'd just done it the night I let her go.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I am so sorry. I've got two right now. One will be 15 in December and the other just turned three. The overlap is on purpose. In hopes that I'll be too attached to the puppy to do it when I let my old boy go. I do want to heal from the trauma, but most times, it doesn't seem possible.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Dead. I have cancer, and it's not the first time.

AMA

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How was dying the first time?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The plan is to try and buy in the next year or two!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Good luck!!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I recently made it to my near-ideal situation in life. After 20 years in the US military, I retired last summer. I was grandfathered into the old pension program, so I get a paycheck in my bank account every month for the rest of my life, equal to a little under half my income while I was serving. Plus, I qualified for 100% disability through the VA. Which isn't exactly ideal being disabled, but it comes with its own sizeable monthly paycheck that's greater than my pension. So I'm actually making slightly more money in retirement than I was while I was serving. Plus, I get free medical and dental for life.

My wife, who also served, earned herself a 100% disability rating as well, so she has the same benefits. She did not retire, though, instead being medically separated from the military for physical health concerns.

On top of that, we moved back into my childhood home, where we're taking care of my elderly father. He's letting us live here rent-free. When he inevitably passes away one day, I'll inherit his home, so I don't need to worry about buying a house in this awful economy anytime soon.

At 39 years old, I'm (relatively) young, mostly healthy, save some mental and physical scars from military life, and active enough to truly enjoy retirement.

I worked in the IT field while serving in the military, and I know I could easily double or triple my income if I went back into an IT job, but I think I'm enjoying retired life too much. It would be nice to have the extra income, but I'd also be beholden to a job, giving up my youth to spend most of my waking hours working. I'd rather take my lesser income and have the freedom to plan my days than have more money but less time to enjoy it. Besides, my needs are more than met with my current passive income, so I don't really need to work.

5 years from now, I hope to have at least started writing a memoir of some sort. I traveled the whole world in my 20 years served and I've always wanted to share my life experiences in webcomic form, but I'll need to practice my art and develop a personal drawing style before I get there. I haven't truly been invested in art since I was a child, so I need to re-learn the skills I once had. Plus, writing about my experiences might help my lingering PTSD in the long run.

I also have the freedom to partake in many hobbies now, so I'll probably pick at a handful of them to experiment with over the coming years. I've always loved woodworking, ever since my Cub Scout/Boy Scout days of my youth, so I might try my hand at that. I'm living on 6 acres of land in the countryside, so I have space to invest in some big projects, without worrying about bothering the neighbors.

I definitely want to get some solar panels set up in the field behind my house and see about getting our electrical needs off the grid. Ideally, my wife and I want the ability to live completely off the grid, with enough supplies to survive at least a few months without having to leave the house. Considering we're kind of remote out in the countryside, and we tend to have pretty heavy winters here, it's always good to prepare to be snowed in for a while.

On that note, I've always wanted to try gardening. I have plenty of space, so I might try my hand at it one of these summers. If I can grow our own fresh fruits and vegetables, we can be that much closer to complete self-reliance.

I also, sadly, suspect I may have ownership of my current home within the next 5 years. My dad has Parkinson's and is quickly declining. And it's a degenerative disease, so once you lose motor ability, you never regain it again. He went from walking 2-4 miles a day last year to struggling just to walk 10 feet without getting dizzy and needing to rest. Plus he's struggling just to talk now. My family watched as a friend in his 50s, diagnosed with Parkinson's, refused to do any exercise. And within 6 months, they were dead. My dad is nearing 80 and is reaching a point where he can't exercise much anymore, so it's anyone's guess how quickly his disease will consume him. Hopefully he'll still be with us in 5 years, but that depends on how much effort he's willing to put into staying active.

Long story short, I'm not really sure where I'll be in 5 years because I've finally hit a very stable, near-unchanging situation in my life. I can literally coast through the rest of my life without changing a thing now. But that would be boring, so I'm gonna dabble in hobbies and interests and projects and hopefully ignite some new passions that I didn't know I had before. Who knows where I'll end up in 5 years?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

That's so nice that you're in a spot where you can enjoy life, I wish you the best of times ahead.
And good luck with your dad, I hope he holds on and whatever happens will be peaceful.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With luck I'll have finally found a job that doesn't end with a mental breakdown. Happened twice now. IT probably isn't for me. No idea what to do now. Scared as hell.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What do you do in IT? I'm in IT and it is definitely making me question my choices.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Sorry, but I'm pretty boring when it comes down to it.
For my offline self it's going to be pretty much the same, hopefully with some small improvements here and there. My job is, what my partner calls, an "iron rice bowl". It's solid, pays well and a lot of the people working have been doing so for the past 20+ years. Also the work is interesting so I don't think I'll be giving this up any time soon, and most likely will stay where I am.
My kids will be older, I'll have a teenager in house who hopefully will have developed in the sweet and responsible boy I know he is deep down. And my daughter will hopefully haven't driven me to madness, but that might be wishful thinking :)

For me here, Thelsim, I hope to have made some friends and to have left a positive impact on others. Maybe sort out some of the feelings about who I am and what I want out of this arrangement I've made for myself.
I guess I'm not very demanding of life.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Celebrating the fifth anniversary of this post.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Hopefully dead.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I try not to think about it. Things are worse for me today than they were 5 years ago and society isn't becoming any easier. If anyone asks, it's probably because it's an interview question so my bullshit answer is "I'll either have your job or perhaps your bosses job".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Ideally, all of society has been destroyed by a meteorite, myself included. But also there's an afterlife for my cats (and all other pets/animals) where they have all the treats and pets they could ever ask for.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Barely hanging on in the post-AI wasteland.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Probably retired, or at least working a chill job with a good work/life balance. I've had a lot of privilege and luck in my life and I hope I can spend my retirement doing something useful for the world instead of meaningless work for a company that shouldn't exist. I don't think very many people are doing well right now, and I don't think it's going to get better in the next 5 years. It really feels like it's never going to get better. I don't know what any person could possibly do to reverse the direction of the world. Voting once every couple years is not doing enough.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

happily enjoying life

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

5 years exactly? Probably sitting on the couch as I am now. Might be a new couch.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I’m with the other person – no idea I’ve had about the future has held up over 5 years.

I’m getting married in two weeks, and we’ve already been together 7 years. I may not have the same job - I’m at my limit for promotions unless I become management. And I am going to sell this house by then - moving somewhere a little newer, a little more loved by its previous owners. I think, and hope, that in 5 years, I’ll be doing even better.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm afraid since I'm autistic but I also have some other marginalized identities. Not to mention that I was sheltered throughout my youth. It's hard to imagine the future nowadays.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

No where near where I want to be. I'll probably be single living alone filling my days with work, exercising and games. Maybe I have changed job, maybe I haven't.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Depends on how next week's interview plays out somewhat. Most likely pretty samey except my pre-teen will be a pre-adult so maybe more complicated social interactions there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Post high school (past ~15 years), there hasn't been a single time my 5 year outlook came close to reality 5 years later.

I've learned not to put much thought into it.

Currently picking away at classes to become a nurse, so hopefully I'll be doing some iteration of nursing; in what capacity, who fuckin knows. I live in the cousin-fuckingly-deep south of the US, so hopefully a nursing degree will be my ticket out of here. Or out of the US entirely. ...or nursing for the Blue Team™ in Civil War II and/or the Climate Wars.

Idk.

Shit feels like it's about to hit the global fan, but I guess until it does I guess I'll keep memorizing bones n' shit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Hopefully the same place. It's pretty good right now.

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