Stuff like this always makes me feel better, I so often feel alone, then I see things like this and think, I have done that for so long, but there are others.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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I'm starting to worry about how relatable these autism memes are
The rule for all memes like this:
If you're like "yeah I sometimes do that," then you're likely just a normie. If you do stuff like this all the time, every time, well, maybe...
These are autism memes. I had no idea.
Nowadays when writing long ass replies to something I like to put them through ChatGPT to make it shorter and more coherent. I can neither confirm nor deny I used such a method for this comment.
Maybe watch a few autists in YouTube. If you find they have the same speech patterns and mannerisms you do, well then you should probably look into it.
Anyway, it's nothing to worry about. You are who you are either way. But if it turns out you're autistic, maybe you can find some help for some of your issues that'll actually help for a change, because most advice just isn't meant for us.
I find it helpful to break up the text into paragraphs where each paragraph is it's own talking point/topic. It seems easier to read, and easier to find information when re-reading.
Other things I've found helpful:
- A main paragraph with succinct information
- Follow-up paragraphs explaining the first
- Dot points
The follow-up paragraphs should not have any new information in them (e.g. date/time, locations of events, tasks to be done). They should be for clarification, so that only the first paragraph(s) need to be re-read to find all the important information.
This is just my experience. I am not an expert.
These days I'm highlighting one or two keywords per paragraph, so people who get scared by my extensive writing get to have some non-scary starting points. They say it's appreciated, but I'm still not sure how much is actually read...
I've gone as far as including section headings in some long emails.
That's basically how studies/scientific papers are written
Hypothesis
Point by point analysis
Conclusion
And get replied "k"
Even better: You ask two separate questions, maybe even number them with 1) ... 2) ... and then you get a single answer back where you aren't even sure which question it belongs to.
Dude, my boss every time. I don't even know how I can go shorter because one time, the whole email was the 2 questions, 21 words total. Still ignored one of them.
My merge requests vs my co workers merge requests.
I would just respond with one emoji.
Motherfucker… so THAT’S what it is. It so fkn hard to try and establish what normal is for the world when the internal baseline is so different. Blargh
If only i knew other people who appreciated that!
Just make sure to add a tldr at the end XD
I usually put TL;DRs at the top to account for lazy people that won't even bother scrolling all the way down to check whether there's a TL;DR.
This is the way.
After finishing writing the "essay", I take the 1 sentence conclusion from the end and put it on top, then write something like "here are the details if you're interested".
Sometimes it just feels good to write them down just to get them out of my head, but after that sometimes I don't even send them, (delete them or keep them in draft just in case, or as future reference notes).
So, having dealt with this my whole life, I think it's down to fundamentally not understanding what details are important to other people, and having learned the hard way that you don't know which details matter.
And consistently having the details you actually care about wihheld from you no matter how many follow up questions you ask.
2 seconds after sending this
"I ain't reading all that."
I do this with emails. ADHD not austism. I'll throw this out as a suggestion:
Amazon, for its many faults, has a distinct and effective approach to writing. Put a short summary/objective paragraph at the top, detail needs/design/whatever, alternatives, whatever supporting information in an appendix, and give everything headers so you can easily find what you want. The idea is to make it pyramid shaped: the important information right at the beginning and more detail the further you go down. Someone reading it can just stop reading when they need to.
I've seen documents that are like 10 pages of 'real' content and a couple hundred appendix pages. I wouldn't go to this extreme in personal communication, but might help realize what needs to be kept or not.
Also bullet points are fine. It baffles me they aren't considered 'real' writing.
The trick I've learned is: numbered or lettered lists of things that require action or replies. Everything else is context. The list helps focus their attention.
Eg:
Blah blah blah blah
To put a contract in place, we will need the following information from you:
(1) System configuration,
(2) Start and end date
(3) Contact info for person receiving the shipment, including phone and email
(4) Contact info for the person being invoiced, plus any notes you require on the invoice.
(5) ...
Huh. That's a good idea and I do that sometimes, I'm now realizing.
But, don't go overboard with how short the summary is, and avoid having appendices to appendices. For some people, going down the appendix rabbit hole is much harder than it would have been if it was laid in order that this pyramid is built.
Had lots of arguments about this with my ex, actually. If, there's was some topic that went, say, A+B=C, I would tell her about C first, and, if she didn't know it already, she'd be asking "the what now?", so I had to explain that it's was the result of A and B, both of which she would likely have no idea about either, so had to ask about each again. Couple layers deep she'd grow tired of asking, we'd lose track of the conversation and I'd continue on to ramble about the implications of C on D, while she grew visibly frustrated as she was missing crucial parts of the discussion.
She herself on the other hand, tended to build up to everything she had to say from afar, probably because she was such a bookworm. She would explain A and B in great detail first, then how they combine together to result in C, and then what that C is, exactly. And my ADHD ass would be like "yeah, yeah, yadda-yadda, know this, know that", and then blank out and miss out on the point entirely. Honestly, should've just paid more attention to her and we'd probably would've never broken up.
But, we'd often have miscommunications because I under-explained my intentions or things that I was never asked about, so she'd have to fill in the blanks, and was often completely wrong. Even when I did provide the supporting information, it wasn't anything like the neat pyramid she was building, it was more like a hole straight down the depths of hell and then off to the sideways into the subway line. Kind of llike this exact message, that I've written as a short train of thought first, but then rewritten and rearranged most of the sentences, expanded on them, and then rewritten again, but can't for the life of me gather enough attention to see it all the way through (Sorry about that, trying really hard on this one)
The point is, communication is hard. I still think that going from the top of the information pyramid rather than from the bottom is a superior approach, but I now do realize that I can't expect people to ask questions indefinitely. So I try to go a couple layers deep after the initial point and then back again, so that people used to both ways of communicating are comfortable.
You are using storytelling to convey a concept of a challenge, with different approaches where neither is suitable for everyone. A few easy to follow paragraphs that i enjoyed reading. You did well. (no ADD here)
One thought: as this is about serialising multi-dimensional information -- did you ever think of drawing up such relations, as a mental helper scaffolding?
One thought: as this is about serialising multi-dimensional information – did you ever think of drawing up such relations, as a mental helper scaffolding?
As in, with a notepad or in front of the whiteboard? I usually run out of space and bump into the edges very quickly with those
In professional emails the delete button is my best friend. Short and to the point is better.
"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."
It really is far harder to write short things than long things. I have to make conscious choices to remove things, even when it feels like "if I remove this, it's technically wrong in [niche edge case]" or "but what if it comes across as [some negative]".
Sony's 21:9 aspect ratio phones feel like :
... Except the picture has the received message being the long text, so it doesn't even make sense as-is.
Yeah, and then I realize if I received that email I’d never read the whole thing.
DELETE DELETE DELETE.
Do I have an addiction to work or am I just working so many hours because I’m that slow.
PSA unless this is normal back/forth, it's better to ask if someone is free to talk instead of assuming they want to pause their day to read your biography.
I'm in this picture, and I feel so exposed.
Damn I find so many of these memes so relatable.
replies 3 weeks later with a 750 page textbook
I would love to reply to this, but alas, I only have an hour before I need to go do something. There's simply not enough time for me to draft my first version of the response.
I feel attacked.