638
Very advanced witnessing techniques are required, such as compromat or threat of hanging.
this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2025
638 points (97.9% liked)
Atheist Memes
5658 readers
195 users here now
About
A community for the most based memes from atheists, agnostics, antitheists, and skeptics.
Rules
-
No Pro-Religious or Anti-Atheist Content.
-
No Unrelated Content. All posts must be memes related to the topic of atheism and/or religion.
-
No bigotry.
-
Attack ideas not people.
-
Spammers and trolls will be instantly banned no exceptions.
-
No False Reporting
-
NSFW posts must be marked as such.
Resources
International Suicide Hotlines
Non Religious Organizations
Freedom From Religion Foundation
Ex-theist Communities
Other Similar Communities
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Witness to me and I'll gore you with my horns. Bah.
I don't believe in a higher power. That's why I'm so fucking grumpy. It's certainly not because we can't have healthcare. It's not because of a genocide. It's not because workers are exploited. Not because our planet is destroyed. No, it's all because I don't believe in a cloud man.
But if you believe in a higher power you can tell yourself God works in mysterious ways and the genocides are to teach other more important people lessons because there is a plan and everything happens for a reason.
Then you can ignore it all and be blissfully happy in ignorance.
The original source for this seems to have been here. I'm fairly sure it's a parody site, but it's honestly hard to tell these days.
I wonder what they think of countries around the world, like Australia, where "non-relgious" is on the way to being the highest self-reported group (38.9%) beat out by Christianity (43.9%), in 2021.
You're not considered "weird" by having any religious belief, but you may find it hard to make friends outside your religion if you're deeply religious.
There's honestly some stigma against it. Which is well deserved.
I'm pretty sure it comes from here: https://objectiveministries.org/kidz/
I want to believe its satire but I honestly can't tell. If it is satire it is exceptionally well done.
I remember two adults acting as aegis for their child. The kid approached my door, handed me a flyer and asked me to come to his Jesus party. The parents were smiling hopefully. I have no idea what Jesus party even meant.
I kneeled and said flatly "There's no such thing as Jesus. Your parents and your pastor are lying to you."
They were HORRIFIED, the parents rushed up my stoop, the father literally grabbed the kid under his arm like a football and they fled.
Am I an asshole? No. That child needed to know he's being deceived.
Possibly unpopular opinion by a fellow atheist, but you're just as bad as a preaching Christian by doing that. Trying to turn others to your belief system, however right it may be, is shitty, homie. Way to ruin a kids party, when you admit yourself you didn't even know what they meant by Jesus Party. Made an assumption, ruined a kids week. YTA.
The difference is OP didnt go knocking on their door spreading their belief. If they cant handle differing views fear of shaking their faith.... than maybe dont go knocking on stranger's doors preaching your beliefs.
When did he say they were spreading their beliefs? Didn't sound like they said anything about religion except that it was a Jesus themed party, and he didn't even know what that meant, it could have meant a lot of things.
Unless the people were latino and the kid was named Jesus and there was a misunderstanding... pretty obvious what a 'jesus party' is.
True that the parents were using the kid as a shield. True that Our Hero turned the fire that should have targeted the parents onto the kid. ESH.
Nah. They knocked on the door and interrupt a stranger's day to sell Jesus. They need to learn to not do that if they're not prepared to deal with the responses.
Meh. If you come knocking on my door and tell me all about Jesus I'd probably tell you he's been dead for two thousand years. I don't have to support your delusion just because you barged into my life, and I think accommodating that bullshit just makes Christians worse.
Would I say that if I passed someone by on the street? No, of course not. But if you ask for my opinion you're going to get it.
Yeah totally understandable. Except in this case, they didn't tell him all about Jesus, they invited him to a kid's party. And they didn't ask for his opinion, nor did they give theirs.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Fucking cowards lol
They will never be able to take from that child, the seed of truth I planted in that moment.
Not trying to over-inflate the incident, but I remember being that young and looking to my elders for guidance. It would have been great if one rebel, at any point in my childhood, just said yeah I don't buy this shit either.
This is a bit more insidious than it appears- because it's asking kids to rat out atheists to religious officials.
There are absolutely areas in the US where being discovered as an atheist will ruin your life.
It's so fucking culty to prevent kids from getting information that goes against the religious leader's beliefs as well.
"Don't talk to the atheist! They might give you bad ideas that will send you to HELL" Literally preventing the spread of information that goes against their beliefs.
It's called indoctrination. This is ironic as Christian Nationalists are in the vanguard against Transvestite Story Hour and panic over all the gay/transexual/satanic grooming that's going on.
It's only indoctination if they are do it. If it's us, it's education.
TBH, it's all indoctrination, or non of it is. The word "indoctrination" has taken on negative connotations (maybe it always was a fright word). However, I think, focussing on the word and it's connotations is, perhaps concentrating on the wrong thing. I think the spotlight should be shifted to the content of how we bring up the kids.
I'll never accept any religion as long as atheist hate remains. How can you blame someone for not believing something with zero substantial evidence?
load more comments
(1 replies)
Avoid talking to them
Yes please
You cannot attempt to battle an atheist unless you're a level 10 Christian with at least a max level crucifix.
That will only work if the atheist doesn't have any patients proficiencies, which comes with almost every athiest subclass. This gives the athiest advantage on charisma, intelligence, and wisdom saving throws from a character with the Christian class against the atheist. This is of course negated completely if the christian comes into the battle with the lawyered-up buff, but I didn't splurge on the LegalEagle's Book of Many Laws. So I'm not sure how that mechanic works.
Turns out, the Bible is wrong. The truth will not set you free. The truth makes you into a grumpy goat.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Oh shit. Atheist fursona.
The word "witness" caught my eye. Is this a Jehovah's Witness thing?
Are they using child labour to hand out their shitty pamphlets now?
Witnessing is a generic Christian term that is based on Acts 1:8, it basically means sharing your experience and belief with others.
Or they are afraid of the atheist telling the child its all lies and social control. Thus way they encourage the child to self report in case there is even a slight possibility that the child might learn something other than the dogma they spew
Avoid talking to them!
They might make sense, and we haven't finished indoctrinating you!
load more comments
(1 replies)
"Witness techniques ". = Regurgitating religious propaganda and "gotchas"
I like how rational sorrows about the state of the world is considered grumpy compared to mindlessly giving away any responsibility by praying.
Raped your wife/daugther? Pray! Got raped by family? Pray!! Pillaged an entire workforce for every dime they had, killing some of them by removing healthcare/firing them? Pray! Having no healthcare on the deathbed? Pray!!!Be an drunk asshole abusing your family? Pray!!!!!
Shut the fuck up an PRAY!!!!!!
Yeah, I'm a grumpy atheist. Guess what, I was an even grumpier theist.
Believing that there was a god who could make life less shitty for everyone but simply chooses not to would definitely make me grumpier.
I have become a megatheist. I buy into all the gods.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Even the bible says there are plenty of side bitches. God just doesn’t want you to have any.
That doesn't even say you cant worship other gods, just that this god comes first?
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(18 replies)
Holy shit. I can't believe I recognize this art.
This shit is ancient, and it was drawn as satire/bait. Nobody is handing out these flyers seriously. This post is rather embarrassing. Satire is dead I guess.
Edit: sources:
Source for text: scroll for text. I don't know where the goat went. This website is a high-effort satire page that hasn't been updated since like 2010. Looks real at first glance but just click around, it's clearly not a real church.
load more comments
(17 replies)
What a self-tell.
"Everyone that I am aware of being member of a group, is like that."
Mhm I wonder how you know that they are and why they are in a mood like that.
I'm a Christian, the opposite happens as well. Why can't we discuss our beliefs in a civilized manner? I will never tell my "pastor" about an atheist or theist in my area. Especially considering I have atheist friends.
I don't need to discuss your beliefs for the same reason I don't need to discuss the beliefs of the schizophrenic man that stands outside my building, clad in a blanket, shouting at the sky.
I have Christian friends. We all hang out because none of it matters. Sometimes we chat about it for the sake of chatting about it, but generally it's the last thing on anyone's mind. People who are vocal about their beliefs, one way or another, are annoying.
load more comments
(1 replies)
"Why some of my best friends are atheists! I just don't let them anywhere near my kids."
view more: next ›