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this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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Take what someone else can use (not sell), chuck the rest in a hole in the ground in the middle of the woods.
I said body farm, my wife was too creeped out by that. So then it was "donated to science" but then those nasty body brokers get your parts and sell them wherever so now it's natural burial.
In Colorado one can be buried on private property not designated as a graveyard so if whatever county I end up in is cool with it, just plant me in the back yard.
I don't care it's not my body anymore. The people left behind can decide.
Cremate, then spill the rest into an ocean. A few years later my star dust is consumed by other life forms around the world.
For the people after me it’s one big effort and then never again.
donate me to an artsy goth who really wants to make a goblet out of bones for social media clout for all I care. Let a reclusive cannibal coven get a few pieces. Liquefy the rest and chuck it out a window. I'm dead, what do I care?
The average human skull has a volume of about twice the average bottle of wine. Thanks to your sacrifice, some artsy goth is getting wasted.
If I can have anything, I want to explode into a bunch of butterflies.
If only real options are available, I am hoping composting is legal by then. Just be turned back into dirt and plants.
My wish has also been to become a tree actually.
Its not legal where i live but i prefer if my body was buried as is without coffin in a forest so flora and fungi can feast on my nutrients.
The matter that makes up my cells has been going through the cycle of life for god knows how long. All I know is I’ll be pissed if that cycle is cut off to isolate that matter in a metal box in the ground.
Very honestly, since I was a child I wanted to be burned to a point where the flesh is gone but the bones are still intact and have the bones buried.
I think it is even possible to do that in Austria but I live in Germany and obviously no one is going to spend time, money, and energy on these shenanigans once I am dead. But if I could selfishly wish for a way, this would be it. There are reasons for why I don't want to be buried and why I don't want to be cremated and this would feel... The rightest.
Green burial. No preservatives, no permanent structures, just natural decay and completing the circle of life. Don't pickle me for a funeral just get me in the ground asap.
Ideally there would be no body to bury. Think about it, can you think of a boring way to die where your body is never found?
Of course i'm making sure my death will be adventurous by staying at my computer and never going outside. Totally won't die of a heart attack like a loser.
Harvest for transplant whatever organs I haven't managed to destroy and then put my ass in one of these. And if I am lucky enough to still have any money at all by then, please bury it in the Pacific Northwest.
.
Pretty much the same. I'd like to be useful for other living beings instead of being sealed in a useless wooden box or a glorified ashtray.
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I've always thought sky burials are pretty cool, but as a person living in North America who has no plans to move to Tibet or take up Buddhism, that's completely impractical. Next best thing might be for my to be placed on a body farm.
Stuffed and mounted in a ferocious pose. Hide me in the closet of someone you don't like.
First, don't spend money on it. That is the most important. Second, if possible make something useful of my body, like donating to science. I listened to a podcast about this "cemetery" that is a research facility and they let the bodies decompose in a variety of situations to study the process. Third, don't do any funeral or rituals and that includes keeping a cemetery lapid or stuff like that.
One exception is if someone wants to do something really funny and weird, like the guy that wanted his skull preserved and the rest made into two diamonds that would be fitted to the skull and to be kept like in the living room to judge everyone or something.
catfood
Easy, just die near your cat(s) and the same day they’ll chomp.
A dog waits a little while, iirc. They lick your face, then nip, and if you don’t respond eventually chomp too.
they would both get thirsty pretty soon if nobody came to rescue them from the dead body apartment
pack my ashes into a cannonball and shot me over Lake Michigan
I won't be there, so I don't care as long as it's not something bad for the environment.
I took up enough precious space on this bitch of an Earth in life, so my only wish is to take up as little of it as possible in death.
No giant overpriced wooden box in a concrete case on a dedicated plot of land, filled with fanciful linens to wrap my lifeless husk specifically treated to rot away as slowly as possible. Not if I get a say. Burn my dead ass to ashes and preferably scatter them to the wind, I don't care where. Or, as a wise Danny DeVito said, throw me in the trash. Nature will have its way with what's left. I'm crumbling to entropy anyway, might as well get it over with as efficiently as I can.
I will not ""become"" a tree, or ""return to"" anyplace. I want to be gone. My lease on this world is over. I explicitly want that lease returned, to the fullest extent it matters.
Not like I'd necessarily get a say, though. Funerals and their rituals are for the living. The ultimate conclusion of my wish to command nothing of the world after I'm gone is that I also can't command what happens to my remains after I'm gone. I can express my wishes, but if no one agrees to honor them, so be it.
If my loved ones want to stuff my corpse in a monkey suit and bury it in an expensive box on a dedicated plot of land for 100 years because that's how they want to greive my passing, who am I to stop them? I'm dead.
Vengeful spirit, for sure.
Is vampirism or zombification an option?
Used as a prop for a Halloween haunted house.