this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
440 points (96.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27151 readers
5109 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

TIL lol

This is from a group chat I was in and a female friend asked the group

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 105 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

This is brilliant.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I like that this man stretches the balls first, and then makes a transaction with a bartender.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

And then poors the drink while holding the spread nut sack? Fucking talented fellow. A real catch.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'm very open minded person, I think other peoples lifes are not my business and they can do whatever they want... BUT sometimes the youth make me feel like my grandma when she heard we could kiss someone without dating them. This post made me an old person horrified with the youth culture lol

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I can tell you that the person in the text is like 45yo swinger

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like there might be a minimum age before being able to do this... I'm in my 40s and I don't think I could stretch out my 'bird bath' enough to pour a drink in it yet, except maybe on a particularly warm day...

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Why the straw though, what's wrong with lapping it up like a cat?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I took it like she's tryna fuck but isn't that into the guy.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

She may end up with a dick in her eye.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well I don't want to end up with a straw in my butt!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My life would have been better not havimg suun diS

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fella had a stroke right there

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

He was monkey pawed out of existence as he typed

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Is this for like a seniors club? Don't feel like this is really very feasible unless you are over 50.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ive always had more scrote than nut

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Then why isn't your name Scrotteman?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

I used to make these in the bathtub all the time as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Finally, something not depressing on Lemmy 🤝🏼

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

large, preferably yellow

lol

reads the rest

jfc I'm out

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

That's enough internet for today. ಠ_ಠ

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That's a bit much, I'll stick to the Rusty Trombone

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but people actually do that, as opposed to the edgy preteen nonsense above

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

For many years, my friends and I went to music festivals as The Rusty Trombone camp. We had a nice banner, people took photos of it. Unfortunately some asshole stole it one year when we weren't looking, and I don't have the patience to make another one. I'll post a picture if I find it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's actually properly awful.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

you don't wanna hear about elephant shower

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Wouldn't this like... Hurt??

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I assume you don't have a scrotum to test for yourself, but oddly it wouldn't hurt at all.

The balls are ultra sensitive, but for some reason the scrote itself just laughs in the face of danger. You can pinch the shit out of it and feel nothing. Just pinching random arm skin hurts a lot quicker than pinching the ol ballsack. And stretching? Forget about it. That's the thing's whole job.

just keep the actual plumbing clear of the carnage

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't think they're asking about the stretching, but about having a puddle of alcohol on your scrotum. That was my first thought as well. Probably okay if it's wine, but not sure about something high proof.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I was actually asking about the stretching more so than having alcohol down there. Well, TIL

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Maybe if you do it with a Bloody Mary because of the ~~tobacco~~ Tobasco sauce or have a cut on your nuts.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Tobacco Sauce". That's what I'll start calling my morning loogies.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Fucking autocorrect. I didn't even notice lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why does this need to be a thing? I know it is, but people, seriously. Get on with life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not into that kind of club scene but they seem to be enjoying their lives. I approve.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Lemmy is full of the brightest armchair experts who know the correct path to change the world.

Lemmy is also this post and people commenting, “brilliant!”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago
load more comments
view more: next ›