this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
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My daughter is 14, but I'm sure answers for kids younger or older can apply.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

No advice yet as I'm in the same exact boat. We're about to get ours evaluated for ADHD privately while unconvinced it's the best option... Ours is young enough that he doesn't really have memories of the US and started school here, but still comes off as blatantly American. It's been a comedy of errors learning how the school system works (putting him and my wife through school the last 3 years, somehow).

But hey, hit me up if you're ever out near Kent, I figure I owe you a pint or three for all the work you do to keep things fresh on Lemmy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Will do, thanks!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I can’t offer any comparison between the Us and the UK, but I have some experience of having a neurodivergent child in the UK. We live in the NE of England, an area which is on average pretty deprived by UK standards*, however the support from the primary and secondary state schools we have used has been exceptional, with additional staffing as required and sensitive adaptions to needs throughout. There was some bullying at one point in primary school, but that was dealt with promptly and effectively and strategies were put in place to avoid social isolation - things it would never have occurred to me to do. The support for LGBTQ kids in secondary has also been pleasantly surprising - to the point that those who try to pick on trans kids find themselves becoming persona non grata pretty quickly.

There are some pretty huge cultural differences between the UK and the US, as you will know, and I suspect adjusting to those are going to be the primary problem in the move, rather than the support for a neurodivergent or SEN child.

*I feel like I should stand up for my adopted North-East; whilst it’s true that there are deprived areas, the NE is a beautiful place, the people are friendly and welcoming and the cost of living is low compared to many areas. The accents are proper canny too!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

That is excellent to hear. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Neurodivergent kids can get an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). We’ve found this great with the right state school - break time provisions, 1:1 sessions, mental health help, extra time in exams etc.

I would say get a report from an educational psychologist (even though they say you don’t need to below) or arm yourself with evidence, most likely, like all benefits in the UK, you may have trouble with the first application, but get help from a charity or professional with wording and apply again, every time helps.

Happy to have you!

https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/applying-for-ehcp-without-educational-psychologist-report

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

Thanks. We have a full report from a place that does evaluations with lots of test result information, so hopefully that will work.

I really appreciate all of these websites people are sharing!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Is your kid neurotypical? If so it's going to be much easier for you to move almost anywhere in the UK.

If not, and/or if you can afford it, look into smaller private schools with lots of extra curricular activities going on. With the smaller class sizes, education and potential for assimilating with peers will be drastically improved for your kid, and you will have a much easier time meeting other parents and forming a community too.

Otherwise state schools with lots of arts and sciences funding are probably your best bet, so look into that, find a good one and try to move to their catchment area.

Also if you or your kid have any mental/health issues, get health insurance. NHS waiting lists are very long and the quality of service is often poor, especially for people in vulnerable situations and for visibly queer/trans/neurodiverse female presenting/bodied folk. Honestly, just get health insurance anyway if you can afford it, it should be cheaper here than in the US at least.

Disclaimer: I'm neither a parent nor an American in the UK, but I am from here and went to a lot of schools as a kid (moved a lot) and I am queer.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Thanks for all the info. Unfortunately she is not neurotypical and she does have mental health issues. We will try to get insurance ASAP, but we may just have to deal with the NHS at first. I have major medical issues myself.

For the beginning, as long as we can get our medications refilled, we'll be okay. We'll see what we can afford in terms of other things. That said, she is very willing to put in the effort herself to make this work because she knows what's at stake, so hopefully that determination will help her.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Some areas in the UK have drastically better autism and adhd services than others. Like day and night drastically.

From memory, and sorry to direct you back there, Reddit's UK autism and adhd boards did have some resources on this, and will probably have enough of a user base to be able to give you a good idea of where is currently good or bad.

Cheltenham is probably still really good for both NHS and charity/independent adhd, autism and mental health services for both kids and adults- but my information on the area is now nearly 5 years old, so you will have to look it up for yourself.

And I can only speak for NHS adult adhd, autism and MH services in North London, but they're next to non existent here and will, from experience, very likely be actively detrimental when you are able to access anything.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Thank you, that is all very helpful. We have no idea where we'll end up quite yet. The first goal is to try to get a job before emigrating, but failing that, trying to do the logistics of who to stay with at first. We have options, thankfully.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Why the UK, why not Ireland? It's still a fairly conservative society but the government isn't nearly as hostile to it's citizens and you get to be part of the EU.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Because I'm not an Irish citizen.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Oh! I didn't realize you already had UK citizenship. That's definitely the easiest way to get to a better place than the US.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Yeah, we are lucky in that respect.

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