Ask Lemmy

Fitting in. For a long time I tried to be the sort of person people liked. Unfortunately, I couldn't really pass as normal, and ended up more akin to a cross between Sheldon, and the main character in the Lego movie.

I finally realised I didn't actually care about fitting in. Instead I focused on becoming the best version of me I could. Centering myself and accepting my weirdness helped a huge amount.

Ammusingly, I now "fit in" far better than I ever did. I've gathered a collection of friends who match my vibe. People either think I'm weird, and back off (I don't really care about those), or think I'm weird, and that that's awesome. It turns out, my fellow weirdos are far more fun.

Goto college. Tried it out for a year. Went back to the work force. Good career now almost 20 years on

It's super silly, but eating a snack cake. I was a teenager, sitting on my couch at home and I was eating a snack cake, like Little Debbie's, or Drake's or something when I realized "this cake is awful." It just didn't taste good. Like, not that it went bad or stale, it just was crap. And then I realized I was just eating it to eat. It was purely empty calories. Made me a lot more cognizant of what I chose to eat.

Drinking alcohol. I never enjoyed it, but I used to have a beer when I was out just to fit in. Then I stopped because I realised it made me feel like crap, tasted bad and had no redeeming qualities. Now that I'm older I'm comfortable saying I don't drink.

Be cis

Have relationships.

It's far better being single.

“Be successful”.

It’s not entirely bad. But there’s a lot of baggage in the idea and it masks a lot of what’s actually going on which is finding a place in the world and understanding yourself better all while playing a game for the success that you may not care for in the end at all. The whole thing is more branding than many let on and it’s very attractive to the young mind.

EDIT: makes -> masks

• getting married
• having kids
• Consuming animal products

Avatar

Running up for having a first sexual experience at 22 years old and it was so traumatic, disgusting and makes me hate intimacy forever.

I nearly got my ears pierced when I was 10, but right as I was about to go to my appointment I chickened out and I will be forever grateful. I didn't really care for jewellery then I still don't now. Piercings especially seem more annoying than anything to me.

It took until I was 16 for relatives to stop gifting me random pairs of earrings, though lol

Piggyback my relatives with my income because collectivism ideology of culture. I don't want, and I still not find a logical purpose for this.

In fact, I just asked on Lemmy day ago.

https://lemmy.world/post/1529311

Hard work

Join a Church. Go to college.

Living

Identify as a woman.