If you didn't read the article, go read it, that shit is fucking hilarious
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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Seconding that, holy shit I like him even more now.
Look folks, i took the advice of the above posters, and I have to say, it's pretty solid. 5 minutes well spent
This is great.
What I’ve heard from my endless hours of comedy podcasts is that at corporate gigs like this, sometimes some execs start getting the idea that, because comedy is being performed, that they get to make some jokes too. Once they get up on stage, the worst possible mask off shit just pours forth. I kind of want to know if that happened.
“You’re a VP of customer success?” he asked another attendee. “Congratulations on your position that did not exist five years ago!”
Okay what the fuck is a "VP of customer success" though, that's a title so made up money laundering has to be involved, no?
"Customer success" has been creeping into biztalk lately. According to Ed Zitron it refers to that subspecies of salescritter that works with SaaS ~~victims~~customers to ensure they keep expanding their buying.
Basically, yeah. At my last job working in vendor support the "customer success" team was entirely sales-focused. Support (as in "my product isn't working as expected please help") was under a different department that would sometimes get badgered by the customer success guys if it seemed like a case was making it harder to upsell, or if the customer's problem was that they wanted to do something their current purchase didn't cover.
The industry called it “field engineering” previously, and “customer support” prior to that; renames happened every time the execs heard how this portion of their business is only a cost center and can easily be done by chat bots (to which the customer success people would say, good luck with that).
It's like how "marketing" became "UX research/design"
Marketing has not become UX research/design, you can't possibly know what UX design is and say that.
Ok, you’ve convinced me
It's just support and upsell
Usually it's the part of the org that is directly interacting with big, corporate customers. Those customers can and often do directly shape how a product works. It's like a sales team, but focused on existing customers with big contracts (that might be expanded), rather than acquiring new customers.
But admittedly, this has just been my experience. I'm sure it's probably not universally true.
in a startup model where product directly implements function requests from clients, it'd be the head of deciding which functions, sprints, priorities etc.
And/or ensuring that clients are handled well enough so they're not at risk of churn at the q3/q4 turnaround.
I wish I could see that set and the audience reactions.
I'm afraid for that, as I fear you would see a lot of laughing people. The emperor knows he is naked, but he still is emperor and he sees the people pretend he has clothes. The people of the court also know the emperor is naked, but he is the emperor and they will go along with his wishes. What are they going to do? Quit?
I hope he gets invited to a ServiceNow convention.
There's a hospital in France where a horse visits the patients. In the hospital. There was a thing in The Guardian about it a few years back.
How does the horse choose the patients?
Well, the horse is a cardiologist, so the patient list is pretty apparent.
It gets led to them. By a human.
So the horse isn't visiting them, a human is. With a horse.
ok cool
The fact that there are 45,000 ‘trailblazers’ here couldn’t devalue the title any more.
Trailblazing, more like scorched earth policy.
Horse hospital what?
Mulaney did a bit about how having trump as president is like having a horse loose in the hospital.
It doesn't really work on a second level for the headline though, so there's no reason for it to be there.
Prompt fondlers got slop running down their chins.