this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
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Gaming

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I swear I get irrationally annoyed at the term "parkour" in video games. It's called platforming dammit!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not the same. Games with parkour make movement look good even if a games journalist is playing. Games with platforming respect the player's right to fail and learn from failure to eventually make movement look good.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

So wait, are you saying Super Mario Brothers is a menu game, and Assassin's Creed was created just for journalists?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago

What the fuck are you talking about, Jesse?!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago

Going through a bit of my library...

Elite: Dangerous - Menus Rocket League - Parkour Project Zomboid - Menus Stardew Valley - Menus Getting Over It - Parkour This War of Mine - Menus Outer Wilds - Parkour Stacklands - Menus

Omg it's true!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Imagine a first person shooter with no menus. You just start up the game, and you're suddenly in a death match with some other random people. There is no customization for the type of death match. The setting and the weapon selection are randomly generated for you. At the end, you are shown a victory/defeat screen with no buttons. After 10 seconds, you join another match.

There is no pause button, no adjustment for mouse sensitivity, and no configuration for the screen resolution or graphics quality.

No menus. Definitely not a menu game.

The game also has no jump button, no stairs, and basically no Y axis at all. Definitely not a parkour game.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I guess you're too young to have experienced Doom.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

I've played Doom, Doom 2, and Doom 64. Their engines lack room-over-room architecture, but they do have a Y axis, and some parkour where you run from platform to platform (without jumping). They all have a menu.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You have to navigate the menu of enemy players with your gun

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

I can choose for this to make sense to me. I think it's intended as gibberish though, so I don't know what that means for me.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (3 children)

a jumping puzzle in any d2 raid really does hammer home that it's menus more than parkour

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"Alright guys I'm back just give me a sec I'll catch up-"

Hazmatastic has died.

"I'll be back up in 30 seconds please I swear I got this please don't kick me"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Just leave and rejoin. I'm at the check point

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

"Damn you warlock jump!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Diablo 2 had jumping puzzles?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

I was about to argue with you over that, but then I realized I'm the reason it's menus.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

EVE online? Double menus.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

How is counterstrike menus?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago

The author implies that buying the right gun in CS is more important than aiming skills.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

I think trying to take this meme seriously is a fool's errand lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Well it's certainly not parkour

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Surf and kz maps? KZ is actual parkour.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Usually in CS you move or click, but not at the same time. Apex is you click while jumping around.

I think this is the logic anyways.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

The buy screens.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Counter strike surf maps are parkour

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Parkour, but you're a block.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Is true, am square block :(

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Not if you play talon. Then it's a parkour

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Path of Exile; menus, plus two other screens of third party menus

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Rather than playing the game, I spend way more time looking at how lit the build is going to be in POB, and then even more ~~wasting all my currency~~ crafting gear to try and make it work.

Menus all the way... unless you're doing Pillars of Arun, of course.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

World of Warcraft?

Classic = Menus, Current = Parkour.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Nah it's still menus galore

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I don't understand how the record fits in here.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

That's just left over from the original comic: https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1990/06/05

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

(The original calvin and hobbes comic is about the dad explaining how a point on the outside edge of a record travels farther, but still completes the same number of rotations as an inner point)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What about Progress Quest?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Doesn’t a menu, by definition, have to have choices? If you can’t select or interact with anything in it, it’s just a list box.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Making no choice is a choice in and of itself.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Factorio: Menus

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

BaUldEr's gate? Do you even rpg? tsk tsk...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Like nails on a 'chaulkboard', that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Top tier edit, this wpuld make a good format

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

apex

parkour

>:^(

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