Terrible Estate Agent Photos

shipping container core

Babe, I got this siding for a steal. It'd be stupid to not use it inside.

This explains a lot about our country

Property Type: Residential

Yes, that generic downstairs with the massive number of tables and no living area, and the large closet upstairs with all the costumes, yes, surely this house was only used for people to live in, uhn-hunh, yeah.

This looks like an AI was asked to design a house. All the basic elements are there, but nothing makes any sense.

You sure this isn't a beginner Satisfactory project?

Putting aside the wtf of it all, looking at the house subjectively, it would be a decent, possibly great, starter home.

The layout isn't entirely insane, there's a ton of space inside. It looks like the framing isn't half bad.... To my untrained eye, it has good "bones". The interior design and aesthetic choices are questionable at best, even for the most "normal" looking areas, but buy a case of beer and invite your friends over for a weekend and get most of the interior ripped down, and drywall installed and painted, and you're off to a good start.

Don't get me wrong, it would be a monster task. 4000 sq ft of siding to rip out and replace? Hell. That sucks.

Replace a lot of the fixtures, mainly all the stupid ceiling fans, especially the ones so high up they won't do anything, install some forced air HVAC or at least upgrade the Air conditioner situation and you would be having a grand time living in this place.

I'd probably rip off most of the external siding too and replace that with something a bit more interesting too, but with all the money you'll save by this being so inexpensive (compared to more palatable houses that are similar in size) and you'd get yourself a pretty nice place.

That being said, as is, this place is at best, a lot of questionable choices, at worst, pure nightmare fuel.

My partner thinks it's a converted chicken coop. I can't say that they don't have a point on that one.

It just looks like there's barely any natural light in the areas where you'd want it. The house interior, aside from everything else that's wrong with it, feels dark and cramped. A recipe for depression.

Any one else notice the shower controls OUTSIDE the shower?!

That's also quite a labyrinth of a front door patio

The liminal backroom/vaporwave aesthetic hallway in the master bedroom is what really got me. Finally numbed to the siding, office chairs, and carpet and then the hall of mirrors comes in to seal the deal.

Does Arkansas just not have building codes? Surely they can't actually sell it like this. There is no way you can bring this monstrosity up to code for less than the cost of burning it down and building something else.

Oh wow, a walk-in closet? Singular.

Why are the shower knobs outside the shower tub ughhh.

So much weirdness. The box fans inserted into the walls. On Pic 38, the shower faucets are outside of the shower itself. All the ceiling fans. The "conference room" or perhaps church space. In Pic 28, using the carpet as "wallpaper," and similarly in 29, the carpet for the top surface of the half wall. Using PVC pipes as handrails on stairs or in the closets and hanger bars. And it looks like the vehicle in the garage might actually be a hearse!

Good find!

THE WARDROBE.

What a horrible day to have eyes.

Outside it looks like a barn, inside the dining area looks like some kind of diner but with mismatched furniture.

With the themed bedrooms, I'm going with The Tackiest Whorehouse in Arkansas.

This looks like something I built in the original Sims game when I was... idk, 9?

Looks like a novice or idiot did the siding. It appears instead of overlapping each piece of siding and hiding the line by varying the distances they just slapped some j channel on and called it good. I bet that siding leaks like a sieve.

If it wasn't built in 2004 I'd almost be sure they got their building plans from chatgpt.

"Hiiiiii, welcome! Don't be afraid-come in!

We like to call ourselves a family. Noooo judgements.

Anyhow. Dinner at six, and we shall commence the baphomet ceremony promptly at eight. Did you bring the goat? I can't believe how often I have to remind people-the goat! No goat. No ceremony.

Anyhow. You'll find a robe in the walk-in closet upstairs. First left.

Have a good stay!!"

This is like living in a fire station or a movie set

It's like someone wanted to make a detailed 3D model of their house, but by the time they got to texturing they had lost interest in the project.

Is this in Waco?

That place and it's taxes are insanely cheap.

Did this housr have measles when it was younger? And then didn't get a shingles vax?

Did anyone else notice that all the light switches and outlets are horizontal and at the same level through the entire building?

Babe! You are not going to believe the DEAL I got on this siding.

That seems like a lot more than 4000 SQ ft. There are about a million rooms in those pictures.