this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 137 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Doctor of Computer Science

stringly-typed "100%"

yeah that tracks.

[–] [email protected] 87 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Calls a static method on the OldMan class instead of the instance of oldMan that is actually dying.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Tonight's story: Every man older than OldMan.getMinimumAge() has been in perfect *unchanging* health for the last few months‽ To find out why, stay tuned! Our experts chime in to help you understand....

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

If only I'd been born %YEARS% later :'-(

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 82 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (22 children)

WHY IS THE HEALTH INPUT PARAMETER A GODDAMN STRING?????????????

Why are you passing ‘%’ inside said goddamn string?!?! Not to mention the static reference instead of the actual instance.

Shame on you

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Also putting sudo in front of what looks like Java code not shell.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Because the meme wasn't made by someone with a doctorate in CS or even a bachelor's.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

OldMan.setHealth("Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--")

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's not his fault the world is made this way.

He just has to follow it or else that man dies.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Found the legacy support person

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They use a look-up table with every value from 0% to 100%

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Smells like JavaScript.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I guess its just a reminder that getting a PhD is often more about dedication than it is about practical knowledge.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Honestly, if someone were to try to safe my life. And I find out he uses a string as a parameter to do so. Just let me die right there.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 4 months ago (3 children)
sudo rm /heart/arteries/**/clot
[–] [email protected] 66 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Very important to not hit enter before clot.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago

That's why you have backups.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I feel like if your body follows the Unix filesystem structure, you have a real problem.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Can I get one of them immutable bodies?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Please forgive my ignorance. What does ** do?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Acts as a wildcard for any directories that exist between arteries and clot.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Goddamn, the joke gets worse the more I inspect each panel.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The font changes like 3 times 👌

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

They are a doctor of computer science, not a doctor of design. You need a design phd to pick correct fonts.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Wait! We need to get the user story before we start working on a solution!"

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Can he also fix alzheimer's by hunting down memory leaks.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Yeah, he reimplemented it in Java to get garbage collection. The Alzheimer's is cured but he takes ten minutes to pour a glass of water.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

sudo pacman -S new-heart

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

HeLlOoOoO, wHaT nOw? It'S a Do Or DiE sItUaTiOn, HuRrY!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Did he just give every old man perfect health?!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

bash: sudo: command not found

After all, we don't know that he has it installed, especially if he's running a really old distro.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

I wish there was a last panel of the old guy getting revived, I think it would be funny

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Is that Noel Fielding?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Have you tried magic, like Kadorto?:-)

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