this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024

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Little bobby Fortran (jlai.lu)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 233 points 4 months ago (5 children)

But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he's literally Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 119 points 4 months ago (2 children)

"I was born for this!"

[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I was born INTO THIS

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

The heart is blackened.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

Nominative determinism.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

fucking golf clap

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Your dentist's name is Crentist?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.

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[–] [email protected] 165 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My parents called me Basic.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You’re the APL of their eyes

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Ooh that's a good one

[–] [email protected] 156 points 4 months ago (4 children)

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

I understand these references.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

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[–] [email protected] 107 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 4 months ago (2 children)

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago

"We're out of BORT license plates!"

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I named my daughter Rubyonrails

We call her “On” for short

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Little Ruby Rhonda

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 4 months ago

Cody C. Sharpe

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 months ago (2 children)

At least it's not COBOL.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (6 children)

I learnt COBOL (I'm old) it's a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it's done automatically pretty well.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

And it seemed like there's not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn't really use it for small projects.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The issue with COBOL surely isn‘t about the language itself. The real challenge will be to decipher the spaghetti code that was created at a company in the last sixty or so years. And then to dare changing something without breaking the program as a whole.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

10 print "Hell here"
20 goto 10

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You know what, if I have a boy one day, I'll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won't develop a lisp

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago

Or a stupid wager.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 months ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago (1 children)

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Neither of them are very sharp

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Tailor Swift

Ash comes from a busybox... sh...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm naming my kid machine code.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You'll never allow him to leave the sandbox?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

This kid is gonna get rich if they stick to it

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Ada is good name for girl child

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.

Needs to know fortran/cobol

Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days

Compared to the average web dev job offer:

Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master's degree in computer science.