this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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Anon chats with an elderly woman (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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(A 4Chan "green-text" titled "The elderly is wise", with a black-and-white portrait photograph of an elderly woman staring into the camera)

Be me, lonely guy in Britain

Get in the public transport to get back home

Sit next to a lovely old lady who smiled at me

Have a little talk

She tells me really interesting stuff and we have some laughs together

She tells that this day se would've been celebrating his brother's birthday but he is gone

We keep talking

She tells me a heartwarming advise:

'I could stay indoors and think about bad things, instead, I decide to go outside, see things, smile at people, they smile back at me, there is no point of being sad and angry at home'

Actually I feel like if I listened some sort of prophet

She gets to her stop and leaves, we say Happy Christmas to each other

Elderly deserve respect, I'll probably join as a volunteer to some kind of organisation that helps them.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Very location dependent. I grew up in some semi-rural areas and everyone says hello to each other in passing, and you can tell by their body language or reply whether they're up for a chat about bollocks or not.

Urban areas at rush hour - particularly London - is a different ball game. A thousand, maybe 1500 people (I don't know what the capacity is these days) people crammed onto a line of trains, and not a single word being spoken between anyone. I have never felt a feeling of being somewhere heavy populated but being so utterly disconnected since.

Yeah I get it - there's folk who don't want to talk (fair enough) or can't be fucked with pre-work or post-work talk (even more fair enough), but nothing so much as even an "alright mate". I suppose public transport attracts it's fair share of... unstable people, so maybe it's just easier and safer to zone out.

When two people come together in a "chat shit" mood though, it's really interesting who you can end up speaking to.

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've walked down the streets of Philadelphia on a Sunday morning - much less crowded than public transportation - and said good morning to people I passed. Even then, only half of them even gave a greeting in turn. There may be more friends, clubs, and hobby groups available in cities, which is certainly a nice thing, but there's a loss in the friendliness of people on the street because there are so many of them. To each their own.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Just because someone gives you a head nod on the street doesn't mean they're a friendly person. They're just doing it because that's what they learned to do in the same way that the guy who doesn't respond did.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm talking verbal replies, not head nods. I don't remember any head nods.

I would say there's a pretty big correlation there because friendliness is the quality of being willing to engage in conversations with people (even brief ones) and potentially make friends. If you're not even willing to reply to a simple greeting, that's understandable, and someone who does that may still be friendly in other contexts, but they're not friendly to strangers on the street, and that's what I'm referring to. I'm not trying to throw shade or anything; it's an understandable learned response. It's just that city life is a different culture than suburban/rural life, and different sorts of people are going to prefer each.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

When I see an overfliendly guy saying hello and trying to initiate a small talk with everyone I instantly think that they are either making fun of it or that something is wrong with them. Politeness and openness have their own social cues and when someone just decides to do something for just one day on their life, just because "today say hello people" then it sticks out. You cannot draw conclusions out of it. I would simply just ignore them and look the other way. That doesn't mean that I would also ignore someone who would truly wanted something

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Yeah, that's what I mean. In the city, it's against the cultural grain and doesn't work. In a small town, it's normal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Why won't anyone talk about balls with me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

You need to be more pacific

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

because they think you're a pedo, remember?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Wat

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Yeah it turns out that the elderly are just normal humans. Some are good, some are bad.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

I really wish I could strike up a conversation like this, instead every time I start small talk this little voice in my head says run, run, run and my chest tightens up.

Weirdly enough im very comfortable speaking in front of an audience, but the less people there are the more panicky i get, I think it's because it feels more personal

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Hopefully anon learns to spell.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Do people in the UK say "happy" Christmas?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I would say “Merry Christmas” is used more often here, but “Happy Christmas” is used a lot too. The Queen used to say “Happy Christmas” in her speech every year, which might have something to do with its popularity here? I didn’t know it wasn’t used in the US.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well yeah back in the before-fore 'the prophet' was just the one that lived past 30

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Lots of folks lived past 30. The age expectancy was pulled down by infant and child mortality.

If you made it to your teens, you had a decent chance of making it way past 30

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Ok, but you get where I'm rolling