this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 167 points 5 months ago

The unanimous verdict was the first popular vote he ever won

[–] [email protected] 50 points 5 months ago

I’m so proud of him. He’s mostly a whiny, piss baby bitch, but today, he actually earned something.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago

"Observers note that earning these felony convictions fly in the face of Trump’s long documented history of never lifting a finger to do real work in his 77 years on this planet. Despite subsisting entirely on family wealth and business connections, having his reputation as a shrewd businessman created out of whole cloth by reality TV producers, and clinching the 2016 presidential election with massive help from Russian cyber operations, Trump has finally earned a criminal conviction entirely on his own."

Gold.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

I see no parody in this.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He earned the contempt of almost all of New York.

This is how he was given a golden opportunity to get in good with the Manhattan highrollers, and how he threw it away through his own stupidity, greed, and arrogance.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaellisicky/2020/10/03/how-donald-trump-took-down-bonwit-teller-a-fifth-avenue-landmark/?sh=4bfa22175f69

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Idk. He kind of inherited the ill will of New Yorkers from his dad too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I bet they've just been bursting to use this one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Fair and square