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submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 120 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

"Accidentally"

The List

  1. Danny Devito
  2. Danny Devito
  3. Danny Devito
[-] [email protected] 70 points 4 months ago

Oops. I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong.

[-] [email protected] 92 points 4 months ago

Apparently, some women are making comprehensive "sex lists" on their phones, i.e. writing down everyone they've ever slept with.

What?

Also here's my list:

[-] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago

As a gay man, most of my list doesn't have names. Why would I remember their names? Some I didn't even ask.

[-] [email protected] 49 points 4 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I'm a straight man, but I used to work for a shitty hotel. One year they had a gay leather convention. So the hotel was sold out from out of state gay men wearing leather.

Well, I saw the greatest moment in hookup history. I was checking some guy into his room. Another guy says "Hi, I'm Tom. Are you single, and ready to play?"

And the other guy said "No. I have many boyfriends, but we're all ready to play. Come up to room 215, and bring friends. We'll make it the best room in the whole hotel!"

Which quite frankly is absurd. Room 215 is generic on it's BEST day! It's no room 321, that's for sure!

Still though. I watched a guy go from "Hi, my name is...." to ".....and thats the orgy we're hosting!" All in 2 sentences. And it was SMOOTH!!! Even I was like "Damn....I should check out this orgy......oh, right........it's all guys."

When you see how efficent that orgy proposal was, even the Germans are impressed.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Oh wow I have the same list.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

I have a list like that. It's important to keep track. because I want to remember things for the sake of remembering them. If I don't write them down I will forget. also when someone asks you how many people you've slept with, you will have the number readily available.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago

I just keep an integer and update it each time.

Sometimes I have to decrement it. Those aren’t the best days.

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

You say there is a data literacy problem underlying data security?

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[-] [email protected] 84 points 4 months ago

People keep sex lists? The hell?

[-] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago

I had a friend at university who was in quite a long relationship who kept a list of people she wanted to sleep with in case they broke up. So when they eventually had a break up, she postponed getting back together until she had cleared the list, which took her about two months. I was not on the list, in case you're wondering, nor did I want to.

[-] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago

For real? That’s both sad and creepy.

I hope the other person in the relationship bailed for their own sake.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

That’s both sad and creepy.

How is it either of those things? Let people fuck who they want to fuck as long as it is consentual, who cares?

[-] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

“Hey babe. I made a mistake. I want to get back together.”

“Sure no problem! Me too! I just need to plow through this list of dudes I’m gonna fuck first.”

Seems like an awfully shitty thing to do to someone that’s genuinely interested in you.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

You cheat on someone: you're a worthless piece of shit.

You don't get back together with someone because you want to have sex with other people first: you're sad and creepy.

One can never win when it comes to sex in a puritanical society, unless they very faithfully only have sex with one person.

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[-] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

I'm more curious if it's a to-do or have-done list.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

You know, you could just read the article.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago

Bah. Hogwash.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I read the auto-summary, which didn't mention it. Guess the bot isn't perfect.

I try not to visit websites that have 100+ trackers installed. Naturally I block them, but I don't even want to give them the traffic.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Yeah, but not on fucking paper like an idiot!
You keep that list stored in your mind palace's secret vault.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Secret? Mandy Moore and Ann Kendrick. There, you have my list.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Gotta make sure I don't bang the same hoor, Chaalie!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Oh course, but you're coming off mine with that attitude, buddy!

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[-] [email protected] 60 points 4 months ago
[-] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago

The B.A.R.R.Y.M.O.R.E. System

[-] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The D.R.E.W. system

be D.irected by D.anny D.eVito

wR.ite your sex list on the back of your script

E.ntice your host

W.in the dick out of his pants.

That one sucks, let me try another

D.emand you can stay at his place

R.evise your previous lovers on a list

E.licit sexual actions from your host

W.rite his name on your list

[-] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago

That would've been the best opportunity for Danny DeVito to update her list with some pretty funny companions...

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[-] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

I just want to know if Danny Devito was on the list.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Why do you think she was at his house?

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

His was the only name.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

It was the only name on there.

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[-] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

I highly recommend the Kill James Bond episodes on Charlie's Angels which break down just how much of each movie is basically just (executive producer) Drew Barrymore perving on her co-stars.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I want Drew Barrymore to perv on me

[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I wonder if she crept on the boy without balloon played by Rich Evans

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Ouch. “The 50 first dated actress.”

Low blow

[-] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

How many people would you have to sleep with to need a list to keep track? Like I've had a lot of partners but I don't need them writen down

[-] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Sometimes it's the other way around. You keep a list until it gets long enough (or you get old enough) that you don't care anymore.

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Precluding the instance of STI after having unprotected sex with several partners in a relative applicable time frame, just why?

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this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
142 points (86.6% liked)

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