this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 61 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I strongly recommend getting a house where you can walk out your door and walk somewhere without feeling unsafe because the road immediately outside your house is dangerous if you aren’t in a car and have the destination you are walking be a pleasant environment to be a pedestrian (i.e. not endless stroads).

The impact on your health, especially if you can win the lottery and get a job within walking distance, cannot be measured easily and most people vastly underestimate the savings and quality of life impact from not having to drive everywhere for everything.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Thanks but that's not really an issue no matter where I buy a house. I live in Denmark

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

It is. But I'm not originally from Denmark and people can be quite excluding and that's why I'm afraid to feel lonely in a new neighborhood

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Then I would definitely recommend moving somewhere where going out and meeting people is easy, whether it be hobbies, nightlife or other reasons to get together with new people and make friends. Definitely don't buy a house somewhere where it takes a conscious input of energy from yourself to see others as when we become depressed that is the HARDEST time to get ourselves to push through inertia. If you are anything like me you are going to end up on your couch feeling sad and a lot of times you won't push through that to drive the 30+ mins to whatever thing you were considering doing. You also can't be anywhere near as spontaneous about interacting with people and participating in different community events when every time you do it requires specific planning. If you live in town all it might take for you to get involved in something happening you were unaware of or thought you weren't interested in is to pass by it happening. When you live far away from things, you have to sit there on your couch and specifically make the decision while blobbing on your phone that you want to participate in whatever thing you are interested in, and that can be a lottttt harder when you are depressed, trust me lol.

If you want the feeling of being out in the sticks, pay attention to being close to mass transit or easy drives out into nature.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

This decision is all about you.

I'm an introvert who works with people, I could be a recluse all year and I'd be happy. Without work maybe I'd be a little lonely at times, but there is ways to fix that for me, without relying on neighbours.

You seem to like having neighbours though, so that's very different. If that is something that worked well for you in the past, I think that's an indicator for the more expensive house. It's a permanent thing, after all, and if you're rather extroverted or at least need humans around on occasion, then you shouldn't make yourself unhappy by buying cheap.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Reclusive house all day long.

Guaranteed peace and quiet whenever you want it.
No risk of lame neighbors right on top of each other.
Lower mortgage payments to free up cash for other activities.
Likely no HOAs and laxer building regulations to improve upon your property.
Worried about loneliness? Get a pet or two, or plant a garden.

Years ago I moved up to the mountains from suburbia, and I will never go back.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

A few years ago I moved from the mountains to the suburbs and I hate it and can't wait to get back.

I miss the stars...

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What's the internet like in the recluse one , that part is really important to me .

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Even if it's shit, there are options for internet so long as the sky is accessible.

Choose the recluse house! I bought a cheap house with neighbours and now the recluse houses are expensive. I made the bad choice.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Buy the cheap house away from people, only use short sentences when talking to people when you have to venture into town, make and sell hand crafted wood statues of what you see out your window, build an underground bunker full of state of the art spy technology to monitor the town you live in, create a secret Cabal of other people monitoring their towns, slowly take over your country by blackmailing everyone you can, make it a federal crime to even look at your property, retire and enjoy the privacy.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago

You guys can afford houses?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"Hell is other people" - Jean-Paul Sartre

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

"Hell is other robots" - Futurama

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

A more expensive house even. Not so humble brag!

BTW OP understand it's a tough decision but this is one of those questions social media is just shit for answers. Far too personal. Only advice is if cost of expensive house is anywhere near being a stressor, get away, becoming house poor is a total bitch and is a far greater hit than the benefit of having a dining room, or a finished basement, or running water or whatever.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Buy a cheap house and enjoy having money. In a few years your mortgage will be less than rent for a flat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Spent less on my mortgage than I was paying for rent and that was years ago. Housing is fucked.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cheap house but get a subscription to a gym/sport activity with the money you saved so you have social interactions?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

You might be on to something...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Take the money you saved and remodel the recluse house exactly how you want. Maybe it's different there but neighbors that socialize and befriend each other have gotten pretty rare.

Recluse houses are better for debaucherous parties of all types anyway. You're more likely to get away with a little side hustle of manufacturing drugs too, which you could then invest back into the house, and parties.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Recluse houses are better for debaucherous parties of all types anyway.

All houses are great for debaucherous parties of all types! Your neighbours may not agree but they need to loosen up, maybe join one of those debaucherous parties for once

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I live in town and occasionally throw debaucherous parties from time to time. The neighbors are always first on the invite list as they shan't be complaining about the noise if they are participating in creating it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It was fine meme until the "buy house" part.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Ikr? Must be nice to be rich.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Do not buy a recluse house unless you love spiders.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I have some in my basement. Not a big deal. They just want to be left alone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What about a regular house out in the sticks?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

Personally, I had this same decision a few years back. My choices were to buy a really nice house in town close to things with a small city lot, or buy a run-down fixer upper outside of town (20-30 minute drive) with a large wooded lot and all the space/privacy I could ever want outdoors. I chose the house in town because I was concerned that if I lived that far away from things, I would effectively be isolating myself and adding additional mental hurtles I would need to jump anytime I wanted to go somewhere, not to mention the effect it would have had on my depression.

I am quite pleased with having a grocery store within a 5-10 minute drive from my house. I have restaurants, bars, local shops, and even the public library within a 10-15 minute walk from my house. Having access to high-speed internet in town, vs satellite, or DSL out of town was also a deciding factor in my decision to live in town. Overall, I'm happy with my decision even if I don't have a large private yard to go play in.

My advice to you is to make a list of services, amenities, and conveniences that are important to you about your future home and then buy according to which better fits into the lifestyle you want to live. Best of luck.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Recluse house all the way, one can always invite visitors/neighbours/friends etc, one cannot easily do the opposite when you're "too" close together.

Also, cheaper, means more money for banging parties.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I've had neighbors for 28 years and they've never been a significant portion of my problems. Largely nice, mostly indifferent, sometimes annoying

Being close to things, short commutes, no driving and not being lonely though?

Remove any of those and I'm instantly worse off

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

How much do you value access to restaurants, lots of stores, and the sort of activities that are usually found closer to cities (like museums and concerts)? For some, the answer is not much, so buying a house away from those things is great. Other people would be miserable.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You can always drive to those things in the same way you can always drive to the middle of the forest.

Personally I like waking up and going out on my porch to see squirrels, and wood peckers, bunny rabbits, and occasional deer in peace.

Can't get that in the city. I gotta drive to the museum, or the restaurant anyways. Can't afford to wake up in either.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I mean, you can, but most people who prioritize those things aren't going to want to make a multiple hour drive to get there. It sounds like they're not your priority in the way I meant if nature is the more important thing. For me, I enjoy nature, but it's more important that I can get the groceries I want (which are very hard to find outside of bigger cities), or go to the zoo for a couple of hours without having to plan it a week in advance.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

A cheap house away from people? The horror

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Buy a condo in a concrete building.

  • quiet as fuck if you also get triple-pane windows
  • neighbors are a rare part of your day if at all
  • in the right area, no cars to drive, park, or recover from impound (you need a city with a subway though or forget about it)
  • things will be nearby
  • the rooftop is nice
  • no lawn to mow
  • no roof to repair yourself
  • usually decent Internet options
  • with some forethought, a high vantage and a good view.

We're stoked but I hope yours works out also.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

No garden to tend, no garage for workshop. Big no for me.

The hobbies I love most require space but I'll never be able to afford a house anyway so... Shrug

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Recluse house. Better to travel to people you like than be stuck near randos.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I don't think you understand the core dilemma...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Perhaps not, since I'm not an extrovert.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Consider the meme through the viewpoint of an introvert that hates traveling/is aware that driving is the most dangerous thing a typical modern westerner will do in their life.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That information should be mentioned in that case, since a "recluse" house means you will have to drive.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Yeah, that's the downside they're afraid of and why they want input. Plus there's the simple reality that friends might say they're going to drive to meet up but in practice it's a hassle and people just tend to drift apart.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Get the cheap house then go out and do things experiences are worth their weight in gold. Plus if the other large house is in the burbs as many expensive ones are it will be hard to walk anywhere anyway so just invite people over and when you pay it off you can make it a cheap air bnb if you want.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

If it were me, I would choose the recluse house. No questions asked.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Get the nice house. You might not like the neighbors but you can hide from them in a nice house.

Wait, if you get the recluse house, you won't have neighbors, and you could always update the house slowly until it's nice.

Wait, over time, others will probably move next to you and it will no longer be a recluse house, so you'll be stuck with neighbors AND a less nice house.

Wait, they say fences make good neighbors so, if you get the nice house and then put up a fence....

Is this helping?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

You guys can choose where you live?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Having lived in both, I'd recommend the latter.

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